I have been trying to lose weight for the past 4 years of my life. I never succeeded at losing weight until this year when I started to get serious. In the past, I would try to eat healthier and work out, and these efforts would last for at most a week, and I would then return to my old habits. I continued this cycle for years. I would probably have a week long running kick, go to the gym once a week, and consciously eat cleaner 10% of the time. With these half-hearted approaches, I never lost weight.
I would always kick myself for "failing" once again. I felt that my one hour spent at the gym, that salad I had last night, and that mile I ran two weeks ago were for naught. At one point I accepted that I would never lose weight and would be overweight unless some magic pill made me shed 30 pounds.
But then I realized--those "failed" weight loss attempts were the first steps that got me to where I am today. That 10% of clean eating, once a week gym visits, and 5 miles ran / month helped me maintain my weight for over two years. Yeah, I was still overweight, but I stopped gaining weight. I stopped the problem from getting worse, and if I hadn't had all of those failures, I would probably have 80 pounds--instead of 35--to lose.
Even if you have still gained weight through your perceived failures, that small amount of effort did something, and you can use what you learned through each failure to move closer to success the next time you try again. I know there's no way of knowing what you would be like had you done something (or not done something) sooner, but don't wallow in your past attempts. Accept them, be glad that you tried, and be aware of what worked and did not work through these efforts.
Y'all got this! Nothing worth having is easy to get, so keep pushing. Know that whatever you do today can put you a little bit closer to your goals.
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