I lost weight a few years ago and have been maintaining a 45 pound weight loss for over three years now. I like the way I feel. Right now, I'm not actively tracking. Instead, I try to stick to healthy foods during the week (lots of veggies, lean protein, whole grains) and I try not to snack between meals or eat anything super processed. I make it a point to do some light exercise, like yoga or taking walks, for a couple of hours a day. These are activities I enjoy and have made me successful in maintaing my weight.
Recently, one of my friends, Jane, has started sharing her experience with using principles from Healthy at Every Size . At first, I really liked the principles, especially the stuff surrounding intuitive eating. Try to listen to hunger singles. Eat when you're hungry. Stop when you're full. I felt like these were ideas I could integrate into my life instead of eyeballing portions based off of previous calculations.
The other day, Jane and I were talking and the conversation drifted into what it means to "give in to a craving." Jane believes that if you crave a specific food, you should eat it instantly. I scoffed and said that if I followed that, I'd be eating McDonald's for breakfast and--. She cut me off at this point. She told me to try it. She told me to just listen to what my body "craves" and just go for it. She told me that when she allowed herself to whatever she wanted, she ate a lot the first two weeks but eventually stopped wanting junk. Jane has always been on the smaller side. She was stick thin in college but has since gained a small amount of weight. She may have gone from a size 0-2 to a size 6-8. She might be closer to the higher end of a healthy BMI, but she's not and has never been overweight. I told Jane that I can't just eat a bunch of fast food, it'll make my stomach hurt (the last time I overdid it on pizza, I was up all night with a sour stomach). Jane insisted it was because I wasn't listening to my body. But that's just the problem-- I kept eating the pizza because I felt hungry. The sour stomach didn't kick in until hours after I had eaten the last slice. When I relayed this to Jane, she told me if I just ate food like that all the time, my body would get used to it.
And I guess she's right because that's exactly how I ended up obese in the first place. I got used to eating the bad food, craved it even more, felt less satiated from the lack of fiber and nutrients, causing me to est even more garbage. And of course Jane's response to that is that my body is reaching it's set weight point. Jane also believes that there are no healthy or unhealthy foods, just foods, and that it's unhealthy to deny yourself any food that you might want.
Jane also believes that anyone who is trying to lose weight or wants to lose weight has an unhealthy mindset and that is always inherently unhealthy to lose weight. She doesn't believe that anyone would need to lose weight for any reason, even under a doctor's order (in fact, if a doctor tells you that you need to lose weight, Jane believes that the doctor is just fat phobic).
I don't think Jane knows exactly what it meant to me to lose the weight and what it means to keep it off. I've tried to tell her about my energy levels and how much more fit I am. I could barely run for a minute or two before but now I can do six miles at a time. But she doesn't believe that those things are related to my weight. I also like the way i look right now, which also might come across as fatphobic (if I like the slimmer version of myself, does that mean I prefer the slimmer version of her or anybody else?).
The truth is, I'm glad that Jane found HAES and has found a way for her to be comfortable in her body. She grew up with a mom who judged her on her body size and any perceived weight gain as a teenager, so I'm really glad she's happy with how she looks. I'm glad she ditched any weight loss plan that didnt work for her. But I feel like she's purposefully trying to derail me and I don't know how to speak with her and set my boundaries.
Anyway, I thought some of you may relate.
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