I feel like i’m fatter after gaining the weight back that I lost?

Hello all, first time poster here.

the top is a year ago and bottom is today, same weight, slight NSFW

20F | currently 168 | 5’8

About a year ago, I was weighing in at close to 200. I had a major lifestyle change and got down to a little under 150. 50 pound weight loss was something I was really proud of. I struggle with eating disorders, body dysmorphia, and anxiety, but i managed to lose the weight healthily. so I don’t know if there’s something wrong with me or my brain is just wired to tell me when I gain weight that it’s bad.

Anyways, because of COVID and some life changes, I wasn’t eating healthily or working out, and I gained back almost 20 pounds.

See, last time I lost this weight, I remember being at this weight and being proud of myself. I remember my tummy was flatter and I was confident.

Now, all I see is cellulite and rolls. I have a very large lower stomach pooch, that I never really remember having before. Is it possible to regain weight differently than the first time I lost it? My tummy and my legs appear wider also.

I’m so paranoid about this, I feel like I need to visit a doctor. What is happening?

tl;dr - i gained back 20 pounds i lost and think i look significantly different than last time i was at this weight and don’t know why

edit: for clarification, in the title, i meant i feel i look visibly bigger, in my eyes “fatter”

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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/3kujM4z