Saturday, September 5, 2020

I needed to vent & share some hard lessons.

When I was most successful in weight loss was a few years ago I had managed to drop 50 pounds basically by committing to doing at least one healthy thing a day.

What I did was mostly intuitive eating and trying to make good choices no drink water I would avoid desserts I would try to stop myself if I wanted to over eat.

I would try to move more, little things like parking farther away from the store taking Sears stuff like that and then the weight loss leveled off and I wasn't really losing anything anymore. I had gotten back to the point where I was not pay attention to what I was consuming and basically i'm the queen of yo yo dieting, id gained most of what I lost back.

Id start again, not really ever giving up, weight loss is always on my mind with everything I put in my mouth. Up-and-down and kept playing with the same 10 pounds over and over again.

I'd have bouts where I was focused on counting calories moderately. I didnt want to burn myself out with it so i wasn't very scientific with it, if my food wasn't scandals the amounts were clarified with "about" this much lol.

I would weigh things on the scale but I found it frustrating and difficult because complex food recipes where hard to weigh. I would forget to weigh the pan that I was putting my recipe in and then I throw in all these ingredients and I would count the calories and measure those ingredients but then at the end I didnt know what the serving was.

Those methods were not strict enough to facilitate weightloss. What I found was that mentally I was very focused on weight loss but I wasn't losing. You know that's really frustrating when you are putting forth the effort and what you consume is on your mind all the time just constantly thinking about food and I didn't like that because I felt all this stress was for naught.

I wanted to have the lifestyle of somebody that was at a healthy weight I was focused on thinking thin and I know that thin people don't obsess over what they're eating. I was obsessing over what I was eating but I wasn't obsessing accurately and it became this exercise of me obsessing and not losing.

So recently I have gone down the rabbit hole I have been extremely strict about counting everything. I am weighing lettuce, the foods that are obviously nutritionally dense and low in calories I never before bothered to weigh before because I figured those calories were inconsequential.

Who weighs out onions and broccoli and lettuce you know? Those are foods that are so low in calories a person doesn't have to weigh those is what I thought.

This go around I'm weighing everything, even by the gram. Even my vegetables. I have switched over to low calorie versions of regular foods and I'm weighing it all. Before when I knew it wasn't going to be a weightloss day, I would not bother to log all my food. Once most of my calories were used and I hadn't even had dinner I'd just give up for the day. Not anymore, im even logging when I go over my calories.

What I have found is that it is working I am consistently losing weight. I have mixed feelings over this. There is a saying I can't remember it correctly but its something about "Dont half ass anything unless you want to make a whole ass out of yourself.". What im realizing is that, half assing something doesn't make it less stressful, easier or simpler. You have the same amount of mental anguish with the added disappointment of not reaching your goals. Self pity happens & leads to a spiral.

"I just cant lose weight, im trying, im planning, im counting, etc."...these are thoughts I frequently had. But I was half assing it. Thinking I was making it simpler & still mostly doing things right & would see mostly good results.

Its like taking the minimum maintenance road as a short cut rather than driving around the mile section. You think you'll save time by driving a shorter distance but you have to drive slower & there are bumps and branches in the path. You should have driven around the section. You didn't save time. You didn't work any less hard. You didn't spare yourself any stress. Yet the person that went around gets there sooner and has done less damage to their vehicle lol. Meanwhile you are stuck in the mud on an unmarked path.

Im frustrated that I have to weigh/scan everything, EVERYTHING. It can be annoying when its complicated & scary when its impossible (like eating out). For the most part I think its actually kind of fun.

I have a friend that saw me scanning the bar code on my beer. She feels sorry for me, thinks im obsessed, making things too hard for myself. Whats harder is not scanning the beer & then crying the next day bc I gained a pound.

Whats fun is making a ten ingredient salad & KNOWING its 327 calories. Achievement, unlocked. Whats fun is finding out cold brew coffee with sugar free Torani doesnt need added milk, & that low calorie cheese is actually really yummy & that watered down ranch dressing still tastes just like the good Hidden Valley Rnach.

I'm done yo-yoing, im done half assing it. It doesn't take any more effort to log a weighed amount of ingredients than it does to wonder if that handful was a quarter cup or a half cup.

submitted by /u/Penetrative
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