I'm a 5'1, 18 year old female. I've struggled with my body image since 6th grade (Around 12 year old).
I've been slightly overweight all my life mainly due to me resorting to food as comfort from my depression.
I've tried losing weight for years and had some success in 9th grade (14 year old) and kept it off for a good time. In 11th grade I got into my first relationship and changed schools. Sadly the relationship was extremely toxic and I lost a lot of friends which pushed me further into depression.
I missed a couple of my periods and after a trip to the doctor I found out i had Hypothyroidism which also led to my rapid weight gain despite me constantly doing 2 hour high intensity workouts everyday.
Before I knew it I was overweight again. By a good margin. After my breakup last December I had my finals and resorted to food for comfort again.
I weighed myself at the beginning of quarantine and it came out to a whopping 160.9 pounds (73 kgs). My ex had bodyshamed me constantly throughout our relationship saying I was so fat no one would even want to look at me.
I decided that things needed to change. If I wanted to get better and feel better and healthier I needed to lose weight. I started exercise and maintaining a calorie deficit. I didnt tell anyone about it except my best friend who is so proud and supportive.
I've lost about 33 pounds (kgs) till now, my goal is to lose 11 pounds (5 kgs) more.
I have started feeling more confident about my body now. I dress up quite often and take pictures of myself quite often and Im getting a little bit more comfortable with wearing crop tops now. :)
Now this is where the problem comes in. My other good friend used to constantly point out when I was gaining weight. She even mentioned it to my then boyfriend that I needed to lose weight and how i kept "blowing up" and looked like a fat old woman? (This sounds so much meaner than when she initially said it) She said that she was worried about my health.
I hit puberty way before anyone else did. So had like a C cup since I was in 7th and now it has grown to a DD cup. One time she asked me how I grew my boobs because she wanted bigger boobs (Shes a B or a C cup) I was confused and replied with its just genetic and honestly its painful for my back and its so much more of a hassle than regular sized boobs. (I didnt want her to feel bad). She kept pressuring me to tell her how so I just told her to massage them so she'd just drop the conversation? After that I gave her a long long talk about body positivity and how she has a great body and how she shouldnt compare it to others at all. How shes fit and looks good and all that because shes gorgeous and shouldnt feel insecure about her body like this.
She is more on the skinny size and has always been complimented and praised for her looks. Even after my weightloss journey is complete she will be much skinnier than me and her weight would still be less than me and on any day she has a long list of guys who are chasing after her and not me (I prefer it this way) this makes me think that this is not a jealousy issue. My goal isnt to be skinny or get more guys my goal is to feel good about myself and be healthy (mentally and physically) so that my medical condition doesnt stop me from living a good life.
Since she used to point it out all the time when I was gaining weight I thought shed be happy to know that I lost weight so I told her I lost 33 pounds (15 kgs) and I told her I expected her to notice to which she replied that she did but just thought I had lost a small amount. She didnt sound happy about it and just..sort of brushed it off and went cold?
She used to compliment me a lot when I used to send her pictures earlier (like A LOT) she used to hype me up all the time. She has stopped doing it now and whenever I send her pictures in different outfits which I wasnt confident to wear earlier she just replies with a word and two or just ignores it. If we are having a normal conversation and if I mention anything about my stomach getting flatter or how happy I am after losing another pound she just goes cold and starts giving one word replies. My best friend suggests that it might be jealousy but I dont get why she would be jealous of me? She gets more guys she gets more compliments shes so much more fitter than K am and I hype her up so much because I want to not because I feel like I should. I dont get why she would be jealous of me? I dont think its jealousy cause quite honestly i look the same as I used to before. I dont understand why her behaviour would change like this and only when I talk about MY body. I've seen my other friends talk about losing weight in front of her and shes so supportive towards them.
Idk why I feel really bad about this whole thing? I've stopped talking about my weight in front of her at all. But I dont get why would her behaviour change like this all of a sudden. What can I do to make things better between us?
(Also sorry for the punctuation I'm too lazy to fix it :p)
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