I’ve spent much of my life living with one chronic illness, and last summer I developed what seems to be another, mystery, chronic illness. The first and main illness is Crohn’s disease, which has caused many a trouble over time with preventing me from eating many, many healthy foods, giving me high cholesterol and triglycerides and occasionally forcing me to take large breaks from fitness.
The newer illness is a spread of symptoms that doctors don’t yet seem to be able to get their heads around, and whenever it flares up I a) can’t exercise, b) am nauseous and eating and preparing food that helps with weight loss/health is much more challenging and c) I lose significant sleep, which dehydrates me and causes all sorts of weight retention issues.
The long and short of this is that even though I am a fitness lover who is very willing to make all the diet changes necessary to lose weight and establish a lifestyle to support what I want for my body, I have to accept that I have limitations, and that those limitations are going to get in the way of an easy path.
So maybe I can’t work out as hard as I used to. Maybe I can’t eat nuts and seeds and many vegetables. Maybe I’ll have more weight fluctuations while trying to lose than others, because I’ll need to eat certain things to be able to function on a particularly bad symptom day. Maybe some of those things can change. The point is, I can accept that I have chronic illness, and that chronic illness has a say in my body goals. But I also sometimes need to vent about it. Because god dammit.
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