19f 5'7, began at 12stone 8lbs, 8 days ago.
Today I weighed in at 12stone 5lbs. My goal is to reach 11stone 5lbs.
Weight gain began probably a year ago. Changing anti psychotic medication a total of four times (been on a total of five) in a year was difficult, not including the other meds I was on. Not being able to control the ravenous hunger that came with some of the meds was horrible. I was admitted to a psych hospital a total of four times last year. Not including emergency A&E admissions. I was all over the place. So sad. Unwell.
Last October I attempted to end my life. It was horrific. I decided afterwards I could no longer live the way I was, I had to change, something had to give. I never wanted to experience what I did ever again. And I have worked on myself and continue to work everyday. Life is still difficult, but the thing that has changed is that I am no longer afraid of tomorrow. I know I can handle whatever comes at me. I am doing my best, everyday. Everything is ok. I tell myself these things at least once every day.
My new therapist is fantastic.
I couldn't of gotten to the point where I was able to look at dealing with my weight without getting to where I am now, emotionally and mentally.
I knew I had gained weight but I was in denial that it was an issue, I suppose. It wasn't until I weighed myself and saw I was in the overweight category. I had stopped gaining weight I know for sure, but I was left with the effects of a terrible year on my mid section. Not cool, unstable brain.
I started logging on MFP just over a week ago. The weird thing was, I logged the day before I started on it, and it turned out I had under eaten. It wasn't on purpose by any means. I was so pleasantly surprised that.. it was telling me to eat more? Deadly!! I don't wanna lose weight in an unhealthy way. I have done that before and that was not good.
About three weeks ago I decided to try cut sweets out during the week, and then during the weekend MODERATELY consume what I wanted. I no longer wanted to be at the whim of sugar pangs. It's really worked for me. How I'm eating I feel happy with. I feel I can maintain it. I realised that the bagel with bacon I used to feel bad eating is completely fine to have.
MFP has really educated me.. for the first while I set it as 'maintain weight' just to see what I actually eat in a day. No pressure, just observe.
Eating during a window of time (most days) of about 6/8 hours. Means no more midnight snacking. Trying to have a bigger first meal so that I have energy for the rest of the day, I also just happen to love my first meal.
I'm generally in a better space of mind that I have energy to handle life. I was exhausted. Would be so tired that I couldn't make food. Cue takeaway. Cue shit food that makes me feel shit. Managing my meals is easier because I can manage life more than I could before.
Gonna take things one at a time. Ideally I'd like to eat more fruit. That will come. Not put pressure on myself to turn my life around in a day.
I feel so empowered to lose the following stone. I don't care how long it takes. Whether it be a month, two months, three. That's grand. All I know is I'm making better choices for myself. Lifes hard, lifes shit, lifes good, lifes great. Cheers 🥦
Edit: I hope I didn't come across as losing weight is easy 😳. I for one know it's not. I just wanted to say what has helped me in the hopes that maybe it helps someone else, also feeling buzzed about the weight loss. Thanks for anyone who read this!!
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/39luAPK
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