Saturday, January 9, 2021

I want to lose weight, but I’ve struggled with it for so long I don’t even know if it’s possible.

For starters, 22F, low/moderate movement, 280lbs, 5’7.

I’ve been big literally my entire life. Since I was a kid. I’ve always struggled with self esteem issues. I’ve been diagnosed with PCOS (which among many other things makes it harder for me to lose weight), and I have a few mental health disorders. My mom put me on diets as a kid, restricted food from me (as in for extended periods of time), had me do fad workouts, etc.

I’ve been on a weight loss medication called Phentermine/adipex which helped in the beginning then I plateaued. I only lost like 10lbs on it.

I have a horrible issue with eating, then punishing myself and not eating properly for days to weeks. By properly I mean I’ll range from not eating at all, to eating a very small snack, or one meal a day on those days. I obsess over calories when I go through this.

But, surprisingly I don’t know the first thing about weight loss. I’m confused and at a standstill. I’ve changed SO MUCH in my life last year. I moved out of my very abusive moms, cut out toxic people, got my own apartment and became somewhat financially stable and even started therapy but this is the one thing I’m TERRIFIED to tackle.

I’m scared to go to a doctor for help. I’m scared to ask my friend who was in the military & big into fitness. I don’t know what to do. I’m just kinda here. I WANT to lose weight. I loved when I would go to the gym or even run for a while. It felt good for my body and my mind. But I want to LOSE IT. Can anyone help me find a starting point?!

Also- I do have a kid, so that does restrict me from going to a gym, incase anyone was going to suggest that.

ETA: I’m a CNA, when I work my movement is high, I also have a dog who I walk about 30-40 minutes a day.

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