Monday, January 4, 2021

Reboot my health - reboot my life

Hi. My name is William and I'm addicted to food. Not just a little bit of "hey, that sounds good right now!", but an unhealthy obsession with it. I eat when I am happy and to celebrate. I eat when I am sad or frustrated. I eat because it tastes good and I eat because I'm frustrated that I just ate something I know I shouldn't. It's an overwhelming cycle that I have been battling my whole life.

So, now I am 37 years old. Male. 365 pounds. I hardly even know where to start. I am married with a wonderful wife and two teenage boys and have four dogs. No one, except my Chihuahua, has the same problem with food as I do. My wife tells me "Just don't eat it." or she doesn't understand where I am coming from. I try to explain my thought process or explain why I do things, but it's met with a complete lack of understanding. she is empathetic and supportive, but doesn't understand the struggle at all.

I've tried many "diets" over the years, but I've never actually lost weight. I've tried simple CICO and Keto. I've tried to just move more and eat less. But I've always either lost motivation, energy, or life just got in the way.

I have a lot of educational deficiencies when it comes to food. I just don't understand how it all comes together. This part is hard for me to understand, because I have studied. I've been an engineer for 18 years, I should be able to understand something as easy as food. But it doesn't click for me. It's as if I have a mental block related to food, which is probably the case.

I have to do something. I am on medication for high blood pressure and I'm starting to notice other weight related health issues. My doctor is insistent on me losing weight even suggesting surgeries. I'm not eager to go down that road though. I think that I need to eat more good foods and move my body more. Weight loss should happen.

So, queue my current iteration of my weight loss journey.

I know that this community is a fan of calorie tracking, but I find it difficult when I have many choices. So I have joined WW (blue plan) as it gives me a list of food that I can binge on if I'm struggling and an easy system to track food. I think it's pretty much calorie counting, just giving an abstraction over the calories and calling them points. I'm not sure how it's going to work yet, as I just started it.

I'm sure that others have experienced similar issues around food and motivation and an abundance of information, but a complete lack of knowledge. Any insights this community might be able to provide would be appreciated.

Thanks for allowing me an outlet to place my ignorance and insecurities around weight loss. This will be an exciting journey.

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