(Non native english speaker ahead)
I used food to comfort me as a child. I grew up in a bad environment despite my close family loving me. My dad left us when i was 3. My then 23 year old mother had to raise me alone in a very poor situation financially. Sadly, my father visits and being forced to go with him and visit his new families living lavishly while me and my mother lived in the projects Made me real angry, bitter and sad. Growing up fast was even worse considering ive lived two wars and endless rounds of terror attacks all through my child hood. Trouble sleeping, vivid nightmares made my nights restless. Fast forward after my military service and those same nightmares switched onto ptsd fueld nightmares, which in turn dabbled me into alcoholism and drug abuse. Horrible experiences with women made me even detest the though of loving and being loved. I always thought weight loss would make more successful, a better person, a fuller soul. But its all bullshit. Im trying my hardest to drift away from alcohol or drugs but for now i dont see a way out without ending it all. Heal yourself, better yourself before thinking about "fixing" your body. I do manage to get laid a lot, its all love less and bitter. Does nothing then widening the pit in my heart. I wish you all a safe and fulfilling journey to better yourselves and to better understand and love your flaws. Before and after : 286 to 176
Took me 8 months of counting calories and mixing cardio with iron training. Im maintaining pretty easily because i completely lost my appetite. Body dysmorphia makes me judge my self pretty harshly whenever i indulge and gain a couple of pounds. If you have any questions regarding weight loss i would be more then happy to be of help.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/2Mo0XV5
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