(warning this is a bit of a long one but I hope you read it anyways) So I came to a realization yesterday. So I’ve been losing weight for about 7 months now and the first like 6 months I did amazing like I just ate what I need to eat if I ran out of calories sucked I didn’t eat anything else the rest of the day. And it wasn’t even that hard for me like it just came naturally honestly. But then at the very end of December and the beginning of 2021 I had a day where I weighed myself and my weight hadn’t change. And I was already having a crap day and I kind of just had a mental break down and had a horrible binge. And I had not binged or even done anything remotely like this at all since I had started this weight loss. At this point I had lost like almost 60 pounds. And then I got in this weird cycle that I would weigh myself every day which I know doesn’t work for me because I just get upset when I don’t see the number change. Which is why I went to weighing myself only once a week. And basically for a whole month all last month I just kept going through the cycles of being good being good and then all the sudden I would just binge for no reason. So last week I did a 4 day fast to just reset my whole body I’ve done fast before and I know that they help me. And so I was feeling great after this fast I lost like 5 pounds (which I know some of it will come back on obviously). But I was feeling great and I have been doing great but then yesterday I woke up. And I didn’t wanna eat what I like had set to eat for that morning. I didn’t want to eat that but in my mind I was like this is what you have to eat even though it isn’t what I wanted. So then I ended up eating something else that I didn’t really want but I kind of wanted and basically ended up kind of binging. But it wasn’t that bad I didn’t go over my calories I just ate all my calories in the morning and not eating the rest of the day. So it was kind of a bitch but I hopefully didn’t mess anything up from it because I didn’t go over my calories. And then I had this realization of why am I depriving myself of what I want. What I’ve really wanted for months and months and months now is cereal I just wanna bowl of freaking cereal! But for some reason in my mind that doesn’t work on a diet which doesn’t make any sense. Because I literally eat whatever I want for dinner as long as it’s within my calories. But for some reason I have this weird thing in my mind that like my breakfast/lunch has to be this specific thing and I don’t know why. So I had a realization of why am I depriving myself because when I deprive myself of what I want I end up eating other things to fill that void but they’re not even things that I really want and then I just end up eating a whole bunch of it anyways just to fill that void it’s so dumb! So yesterday I went out and I bought me a box of Honey bunches of oats and some almond milk. I got me almond milk because that’s way less calories than normal milk. And I had it for breakfast this morning and you know what it hit the spot I’m totally satisfied! I have no urge to binge at all. Why did it take me so long to realize this why did I deprive myself for so long! I was literally setting myself up for failure and I don’t understand why I was doing it. I don’t understand why I was so stuck on this thing. But I think this has finally got me pass this sorry this is such a long sort of rant but I just wanted to get it out and share this to you guys. Don’t deprive yourself of what you want you’re just setting yourself up for failure if you want something do it find a healthier way to do it. Like I wanted cereal so I still got cereal but I did it with almond milk instead of normal milk so I still get it but it’s a healthier lower calorie way to do it don’t be stupid like me don’t deprive yourself it’s just gonna make it worse!
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