Sunday, February 21, 2021

I wasn't a failure before

So weight loss is working this time. I started at 280 and this morning I weighed just over 266 after about six weeks. However it just doesn't feel real. I struggled with depression that I couldn't manage to fight during previous attempts, and since I figured out it was due to undiagnosed ADHD.

When I started treating ADHD I felt better immediately and was able to immediately start using all the tools from therapy more effectively. I'd decided before that to try again but got serious about it once the medication worked and been working out more and counting calories.

It just.. doesn't feel real with how easy it is this time. I didn't change anything drastic diet wise just counting calories and being more aware. If I feel hungry still I'll eat to maintenance and don't feel guilty. If I'm not I don't and I'm at deficit. I still make bad choices but it's easier to say no or get a slightly less bad choice. I want to get up and do things. I want to lift weights while watching TV and even added a dumbbell to my desk at work to use when taking employee classes(online and muted) or during breaks. I walk more.

It's like... before it was so difficult and I was discouraged so easily. Every time I would start I'd just feel worse and worse and more tired and tired the more I tried till I gave up. This time I'm feeling better as the weeks go by. It feels easy. It doesn't feel real.

I don't know why I'm sharing this honestly. Just every time I think about how good my life has gotten the last six weeks or so of treating ADHD and the progress I've made... I don't feel like the same person . It's just... impossible to wrap my head around. That not being able to do it before wasn't because I was weak or a personal failure. Something was actually wrong and once that was treated I can do it. I wasn't a failure.

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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/3k9OFvT

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