For context, I am a female teen living with my parents.
I have recently lost a bit under 20 lbs and I feel embarrassed every time I get caught exercising or eating nutritious foods, like it's weird to try to so hard to maintain a healthy weight. This even extended to comments people started making when I lost that weight. They would say things like "Did you lose weight? You look so good! What did you do?" For some reason, when I respond, I pretend to have no idea about this "weight loss" and act like the pounds just happened to come off. I feel ashamed for actively wanting to lose weight.
I hide my exercising from my family and do quiet workouts in my room for the most part. I get scared that I'll accidentally get caught by them and get made fun of for trying to lose weight. It sounds ironic because they make jokes about my weight but when I want to make a change, they sort of mock me for it. It's that kind of revenge that motivates me to lose weight to prove them all wrong. At the same time, I don't want them to know that I'm being that petty and changing because of other people's comments, which is why my entire weight loss journey is a secret.
When I began learning about nutrition and packing more nutritious meals to school etc, my friends would make comments like "Omg, that's soooo healthy. I could never. I just love chips way too much" or "Eww. That's so much vegetables. How do you even eat like that?" Most of these comments would come from my friends who had no issues maintaining a healthy weight and subsisted on mostly chips because of their small portion sizes. They might've not intended it to be condescending, but the tone definitely makes me feel like I shouldn't be trying to take care of myself. Maybe it's because I'm living a relatively healthy lifestyle, but still not looking the way I would be expected to. I still have around 10 more pounds to lose until I reach my goal weight. I feel like a health fraud. I think this ties into the culture we have of glamorizing not taking care of ourselves. People brag about being stressed and not getting enough sleep and not eating properly and not exercising. So now that I am doing these things, it's almost as if I'm an outcast.
To counteract this, I overly talk about eating fast food and craving ice cream like I need to constantly make an excuse for being the size that I am. If I show them that I have bad eating habits, that would explain why I am fat, but having proper nutrition habits and still being a bit on the chubbier side makes me feel like an anomaly. Obviously this is because I am still in the middle of my weight loss journey, but I still feel this way.
I know this might be an odd experience because weight loss is generally something people are proud to speak about, but I was wondering if anyone else has gone through this and what they did. Anyways, thank you if you read this far!
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