Long time Reddit lurker, first time poster since I'm hoping spitting this all out will help Day 1 actually happen.
As background, I'm 5'3" and was around 130 in college and 140 after college/before kids. I didn't gain a lot of weight (15-20 lb?) with my first kid and lost a lot of weight in the year after without trying (guessing a combination of breastfeeding and post partum depression). I got down to 118 at one point and was buying a size 4 pair of shorts. By the time I was getting back to my pre-baby weight of 130-140, I was pregnant again. Gained a normal amount of weight (25 lb?) but didn't have the big weight loss afterwards the second time around. For the last 5 years I've been around 155 (overweight BMI) but did have some success with intermittent fasting 3 years ago. Then COVID hit and I've gained 20 lbs to get to my highest weight ever, 175 lb, with an obese BMI.
I can tell the difference in my body with the extra 20 lb and I always say "this is it" but I end up having a frappucino, pop, or ice cream (or all 3 in a day aka the trifecta). I "know" I need better habits for myself and my family. I "know" I'm overweight/obese and would feel much better losing 40 lb. I "know" lifestyle change is the way to go with making deliberate choices. But then the other thoughts creep in: "I'm a grown person and can do what I want," "I deserve this," "it's only 1,"... the worst is thinking I can flip the switch whenever I want and drop the weight easily: I'll just start tomorrow.
The other worst thought is looking at myself and thinking I'm not really obese, I'm not like my mom. She's been overweight her entire life and has everything that goes with it: diabetes, neuropathy, colitis, sleep apnea, also depression. I know my opinion on what obese looks like is skewed because so many Americans are overweight/obese, but I think it's not that bad, so I grab that one last ice cream.
Thanks for reading if you made it this far. I know I can't be the only one in this obese gray area (even if the gray area is in my head since numbers don't lie). Maybe putting this out there will help Day 1 start tomorrow, for real.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/3rlorsd
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