As the post indicates I've lost 60+ lbs over 2-3 years and maintained for 1.5 years. My journey was long and often derailed. Needing a stint in my heart at age 35 to avoid a heart attack was the final motivation to take my health seriously. I've been WFPB for 2 years now and still exercise regularly. I also quit smoking after numerous failed attempts during this time.
The reason for my post is that I'm struggling with how to talk about and approach diet and eating with my girlfriend. She has also lost weight on this diet but not as much and not for the past year. By her own goal, she has 40 to 50 more pounds to lose to get out of the obese category. She deviates from the diet frequently, especially lately. I strive to have a body-positive, loving approach but also want her to meet her weight loss goals for health reasons. I never make negative remarks about her body or eating habits. I do have to often say "no thanks" or "not tonight" when she suggests a splurge. This used to be rare and now it happens daily.
I've never asked her to lose weight but part of the reason we fell in love is that we were embracing a new lifestyle together. I will continue to love her at any weight but it is also very difficult for me to see her struggle with this. She has an appetite for sugar that I don't share so sugar-heavy treats are where our habits often differentiate. I've asked her not bring unhealthy savor or salty snacks into the house because that is where I struggle. She tries but still buys them and brings them home often. She has started and stopped both CICO and IF at least twice in 2021 alone. It's clear that she is trying most of the time but hasn't been able to maintain the disciplined approach consistently. I try to embrace more of a slow and steady approach. She seems to often try really hard for a few weeks and then very little for a few weeks. It's an exhausting cycle to observe.
I feel like any mention of her struggles or lack of progress will be perceived as shaming and that is definitely not how I want to treat someone I love. Please help me find the language and approach that is going to make us both feel better when communicating about this topic.
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