Some background: In 2016 I reached my highest weight ever (231lbs) which pushed me to finally work on myself to become healthy. I had reached 185lbs in 2018, gained a bit back then maintained that until late 2019 where I rapidly gained almost all of the weight back because of depression and binge-eating. In 2020 I lost a bit of weight, and it's only since May of this year that I've really been pushing myself both diet-wise and exercise-wise, which is paying off as I've lost 8lbs in June despite being sick for two weeks.
I should be over the moon as I've never managed to lose that much two months in a row, but I'm feeling pretty indifferent. I look at myself in the mirror and I feel like I look the exact same as before. Even though everything points to me that I've lost weight and must look at least a bit different. It makes me feel down to not be able to see it.
I know it's all in my head but it's hard to be rational when your own eyes tell you you look the same. I try to give myself small goals so the weight loss doesn't feel overwhelming, but I couldn't help yesterday but to think about how much weight I still have to lose, and after doing the math I found out I'm not even halfway there. It was very disheartening. I'm not giving up but I'm sad. Sometimes I feel like I'll never be at a healthy weight. I haven't even reached my weight from 2018 yet so I feel like right now I'm just losing the weight I've regained in 2019. It feels like I'm "fixing the damage" so to speak.
I usually try my best to see my weight loss as an adventure and to enjoy the process instead of focusing solely on the end goal, but today's just one of those days.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/3jzTzUG
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