I gained a lot of weight last year, due to 2 main lifestyle changes. First, I moved in with my partner. Second, COVID created a lot of lifestyle changes/restrictions.
My partner works at a restaurant and brought home food every night; when he didn't bring food home, we'd usually order in. I was average/thin before COVID (5'4" 125 lbs, which was the heaviest I ever weighed), and I always had a fast metabolism, so I didn't worry. I didn't even realize until 3 months into COVID that I was gaining weight, but even then, I wasn't overly concerned - it just looked like I went up a size or two, and I assumed it was temporary.
It was not.
After a bit, I assumed the weight would plateau - it did not.
After about 5 months, I realized that a problem was that I was essentially doing little to no activity, since I was working from home. I never liked physical activity, and while I didn't necessarily exercise before, I did some activity. When I had to go to my school, I would either bike there, walk there, or take the bus. Now, I would get up, go to the living room, work on the couch, eat, and then go to bed.
Over time, I grew depressed from not being able to see friends, as well as getting bigger and bigger. When I tried to look nicer by wearing clothes thay weren't pajamas, I found, to my horror, that nothing fit. I bought new clothes - only to have them be too small a few months later, as I continued to gain weight.
I joined a gym last fall, but by then I was over 170 lbs. I managed to lose about 5-10 lbs in a month, which was encouraging, especially since, again, I hate exercising. Although I gained 3-5 lbs back over the holidays, I was still motivated to lose the weight once the holidays ended.
I started a new job at the beginning of the year, which meant that I could only go to the gym maybe 2-3 times a week, for 30 minutes each time, and the rest of the week I was completely sedentary at home. By April, I quit the gym. I made some dietary changes (cut out sugary drinks and dairy, cut back on fats), but it was hard to make the changes stick, because most of my food was still coming from my partner's restaurant.
Since May, I've failed to keep up some of my dietary changes - I drink milk in my coffee, but I have cheese on things I don't need to add it to; I've started to eat unhealthy snacks and junk food in the last month; I've also started an awful trend of eating cupcakes with my partner on a weekly basis. The latter is horrible for my weight journey, because he'll get us a box of 6 cupcakes for a week - every other week. I have stayed relatively constant for weight (currently at 157, only having gone up about 3-5 these past months), but I feel like my width has gotten bigger.
At this point, I don't know if it's even worth trying to lose the weight. As my partner points out, I clearly lack discipline (my parents say this too). It doesn't help that a) we get most of our food from a restaurant, b) we don't have a huge income (we're not eligible for foodstamps, bit I don't have an income where I can buy all the healthy foods as I should probably have), c) none of my friends have put on COVID weight, so I have no workout buddies, and d) my partner seems to have no interest in helping me lose weight. As for the last point, my partner gained some weight during COVID (maybe 30-40 lbs), but he is active all day and can shed weight with ease, so perhaps that's why he doesn't seem to empathize with me.
I guess my question is, given my lack of interest in physical activity (basically, the fact that I hate it), my limited income to get healthy food, and the lack of support from those around me... along with my repeated failure at weight loss, dieting, exercise, and lifestyle changes... should I just give up trying to lose weight?
I hate being at this weight/size (it legitimately FEELS uncomfortable), but I've tried everything: Slimfast, weight watchers, Noom, macros, traditional TEED/CICO... and I haven't seen a significant difference. Am I just a lost cause?
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