"I can't do that," turned into, "Holy sh...I did that."

Hello!

When I shared my weight loss story on fb a while ago, a friend told me I should post my progress here. I came and lurked around for a few months and didn't even make an account until like last week because I'm just far too nervous to put myself out there to a bunch of strangers...however, I feel like if I can help anyone in any way whatsoever it's worth it.

Here's my before and after - 230 > 169

Over the last 10 years I was incredibly destructive. I did things because of self-hatred and I wanted to punish myself for being...me, I guess. I stuffed myself until it was painful, I became an alcoholic, was suicidal at various points and my self-talk was ALL negative and seriously hurtful. I would look at myself in the mirror and say, "You are disgusting." Just like that. Nearly every day I did that.

In 2016 I decided I wanted to hike the Appalachian Trail in its entirety. I wanted it to be my savior and change my life. I wanted to find myself and figure out who I was. Lol. Anyway. My before picture up there was April 9th, my first day on the trail (the after picture was last night btw). I made it about a week before I got physically ill and then was holed up in a shitty hotel room crying for three days experiencing what I can only describe as a mental breakdown, it was really somethin'. I flew home after those three days and my boyfriend broke up with me the next day (he's not the bad guy here, we're actually back together and ridiculously in love, like...it's crazy).

For some reason, something clicked. I made a decision to change my life. I didn't want to be miserable anymore, I didn't want to rely on another person for my happiness, I didn't want to blame anyone else for what I'd done to myself. I needed to love me, and I needed to show me just how much.

The first thing I did was cut out all my negative self-talk and instead started looking in the mirror and telling myself how awesome I am, how beautiful I am, how important I am (to me). It sounds insane, I know it does, but god it helped. I decided to start Whole30 on May 1st. After that first month I'd lost 21lbs! Then I did the paleo diet as I'd done it before and just really enjoyed it. After that I counted calories, tried vegetarianism, and am now in the middle of my second full round of Whole30.

I don't follow any one thing religiously. I find that with my personality being what it is, I NEED change. I can't stick with one thing for the rest of my life. But one thing is for sure, the base of my diet is meats and vegetables, and I don't really get tired of that for now.

At this point in my life I am a positive, happy, excitable, and FAR more loving person than I used to be. I have learned to take responsibility for my words and actions and not blame others for my shortcomings (which was my MO back in the day, nothing was my fault, especially my weight), I've learned to truly love myself and in so doing learned to love others. That cliche really has stuck with me. I never understood it until I felt it myself.

Anyway, I digress. I just wanted to share with you all my progress and if anyone has any questions I'd be happy to answer!

submitted by /u/imwiseandihaveworms
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