While I'm not diagnosed with anything as of this post, I have had dark moments and thoughts due to a lot of self-innflicted low confidence, and this spiraled into weight gain during my University years up until last year. I had no motivation to work on myself because I didn't feel like I deserved the care, and my wardrobe growing tighter had me reaching for greasy snacks that wouldn't help the problem I didn't want to face. Even when I tried dieting myself with cico and the like, I ended up miserable - it wasn't for me.
Fast forward to April, where I got really fed up with 2 of my favourite pants tearing at the hips. I was at work and completely embarrassed and frustrated with myself. I even measured my body fat percentage band it floored me how far I had let myself go. I had to change something, and fast. I turned that frustration on myself and my bad habits.
If I felt myself reaching for chips, I'd down a bottle of water to fill myself. If I craved a big mac, I'd think about that wireless charger I was saving up for and turn around. If I had some crappy customers at work, I'd strap on the boxing gloves at the gym. If my thoughts turned dark and I felt like I didn't want to live, I'd run until my lungs burned for air again.
A big part of this was working with a personal trainer at my gym. Yes they're expensive, but I was at a point where I was spiraling and I lucked out with my trainer because she cares about my mental health (we talked a lot, she's been a great confidant). I'm not at 100% worth my mental health, but I'm never at 0 anymore. My weight loss has not been huge (30 pounds since I started) but my lifestyle has improved. I've put hard work into myself, and have started to care about myself more.
I have days where I love my long legs, and other days hate my thunder thighs, my perspective on my body will flip flop but I will never make my body pay the price for a brief respite. Like my muscles, my confidence was broken so that I could build it back up even stronger.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/2Dv4Wcz
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