A few years ago, I lost 130 lbs in just over a year with healthy eating, calorie counting, and exercise. I was at my lowest adult weight in April of 2016. I felt amazing, my confidence level was through the roof and I finally felt that my goal weight was in sight. My next big goal was 199... my weight hadn't started with a 1 since I was 15 and I was excited for this next big milestone.
I hit 200.0 on 4/23/16-- 130.5 lbs lighter than my highest adult weight... and I started to self-sabotage. I went on vacation and my eating was out of control, and I was never able to reign it in. Disappointment in myself and my inability to hit my goals turned into depression and I self-medicated with food.
I was gaining as fast as I had been losing. In August of this year, I had gained back 100 lbs of what I had lost. Still a way from my highest weight, but at 299.4 I REFUSED to hit 300 pounds again. So I'm back at it. This is the 3rd or 4th major attempt at weight loss as an adult, and I'd love to say that I'm going to hit a healthy weight this time, but who knows. I can say that right now I'm motivated and I plan to keep it up. I want the confidence that I had before.
I'm currently at 268. Down 31 pounds since August. Religiously tracking my intake, eating whole foods (95% paleo-ish diet), stepping on the scale every morning for accountability, and sticking to a ~1300 calorie daily goal. The weight is coming off and I'm feeling confident in my ability, but I think I need to add some tools to my belt to help me deal with emotional eating that may come in the future.
I think that weight loss in this age is kind of amazing. I've had Fitbit and a wifi scale since 2012, so the past six years of my weight is conveniently graphed, with its ups and downs and all. I know that my eating and my weight is intrinsically linked to my mental well-being. I can mark all of the major events of my life over the past 6 years and see how they've affected my eating habits.
I tend to turn to food for comfort-- in fact, I can pinpoint the exact moment that my weight-loss journey did a 180 after my mom died. I had been doing awesome-- I had lost around 40 lbs. I got pregnant with my first child, so my weight loss had slowed, but I was still staying on track with my diet. The second I got the call that she was gone, that all went away. Completely lost in despair, someone brought me a latte and a snowman cookie from Starbucks. For the tiniest second, the enjoyment of the cookie outweighed my grief, so I kept chasing that feeling. Over and over again until I ballooned to 330 lbs and couldn't walk down the hall without getting winded. That was my rock bottom and when I lost my first huge amount of weight.
Every day I kick myself for not sticking to it. But, I try to bury those thoughts with the knowledge that I've lost this weight before so I know that I can do it again. I have around 120 pounds to hit my ultimate goal weight-- and I've done that before! I've lost more than that before!
I'm not sure what the point of this post is, tbh. I check in and read /r/loseit every day, just as I did the last time I was losing, so I thought I'd finally post this time around to make my efforts 'official'. Maybe there are some of you who have dealt with emotional eating as well, and can give me pointers in avoiding it in the future? Have any of you gone to therapy for your eating habits? I've been considering it-- I really want to set myself up for success in all ways that I can. I owe it to myself and to my family to be healthy and to be a good role model. What do you do to actively keep yourselves from falling back into old habits?
tl;dr: I lost a lot of weight. Then I gained most back. Losing again; want advice on sticking with it this time.
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