Hello,
Due to the nature of my irl situation I am bored and lonely most of the time. Which leads to me eating. As a kid I've always been a bad eater. I would hardly eat any vegetables and i hardly ever liked anything.
Now a fast jump forward to now. For the past years I have been very reckless with my eating. Especially the first years I gave no f*ck." I will never get fat" I thought. Needless to say I did. I am a big fan of junk food and I like to order food from these places and have them delivered to my home. I also often go to supermarkets to buy many sodas, colas, energy drinks and buy cookies or candy or whatever I feel like eating that day.
The stats: I'm male, 22,170 cm (5''7?) and today I was 87,7 kg (193 lbs) i have been swinging between 85-88 kgs for the past year atleast. I check my weight daily and freak out when I am 88 kg and then I would drop to like 85 and be like "I can order some food now'' and then after that meal I'll check again and I'll be like 87 and be like" oh shit better start loosing it again" this is basically me right now. Now as I have understood it weight doesn't mean all right? With this lifestyle my weight might stay roughly the same but my body keeps storing more fat right?
My ideal weight goal would be to drop to healthy bmi, which is I believe 72 kg. But my dream weight would be under 70 kg even. This would mean I have to lose 18 - 20 kg (39-44 lbs) that is for weight, I also want to look thinner again. I often look at pictures of me from before I gained weight and it makes me really sad and makes me believe I will never look like this. But how can I say that without even trying?
Problem is that I just don't know how to tackle this.. I read the wikis on this reddit and I get a general idea but the main thing that scares me is how much I love this food. Whilst I think about how bad I feel about being fat at the same time I'm thinking about what my next order is going to be or what I feel like eating it's almost comical how contradictory my mind is. I honestly think I have a food addiction and I was wondering if people relate to this and how they dealt with the urge to eat food.
I also have a question about exercise, I have a no contract gym membership which basically means that I pay as I go. I don't go to the gym often. Essentially maximum 1 day a week where I would go for 1-1,5 hour and dip. There's a small area where you can do spinning with a pre recorded video and I found out I quite enjoy it and it seems effective. It's heavy, but its working. But I was wondering, is this enough to maintain muscle and lose fat? Cause you don't really train any muscle other than your legs, can you maintain muscle and strictly lose fat by doing just spinning and cardio? Or do I really have to start lifting and other muscle training exercises?
I guess this also means that this will be day 1 for me. I kept thinking "just 1 more order and I'll do it" or "the year is almost over I'll just make 2019 my year. December is a month of cheating anyway '' but that is stupid. I've made these excuses too many times and they made me to what I am today. An unhappy lonely guy who is now also fat.
Tl:dr: I love junk food and I have gone severely overweight. Unsure how to battle weight loss and hoping to get answers to these questions; When having a bad diet whilst trying hard to maintain the same weight do I still get physically fatter? Advice on how to deal with food addiction? Can I do just spinning+cardio to maintain muscle and strictly lose fat or do I have to start lifting too?
This is the start of my weight loss journey and I'm nervous.
Ps. These questions might just be the most standard and obvious ones to find answers for so if my post is bad please let me know..
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