I used to be bulimic. I went to treatment centers that were very anorexia oriented. Their main message was about body acceptance, i.e. loving what your body would look like if you didn’t starve it. Since most of the patients had anorexia and were severely underweight, the treatment centers always talked about how curves are good, it’s ok to be bigger, wanting to lose weight is disordered, etc. They also really pushed foods that most of the anorexic patients avoided, like desserts and fried foods, because there is no such thing as bad food.
I think I’ve improved a lot with regards to certain things that were exacerbating my eating disorder, like unrealistic body goals and extreme food plans. However, bulimia, particularly the binge eating part, is very different from anorexia. When I stopped purging, a lot of things that I learned in treatment started to backfire on me.
For example, I have struggled a lot with ‘accepting’ the weight gain. Bulimia kept me within a normal BMI, never underweight. When I finally stopped throwing up several years ago, I quickly gained a lot of weight because I was still binge eating. The treatment centers told me this is what my body naturally is supposed to look like and that it would all even out eventually. I am now 40 pounds heavier than my normal BMI. I don’t think this is natural and it obviously isn’t going to even out anytime soon since it’s been this way for about two years now. I am doing my best to love my body, but it’s just hard when it’s obviously so much bigger than the textbook definition of a healthy weight.
Does anyone have suggestions for how I can lose weight as a person with a history of an eating disorder? I feel so guilty when I even think about it since I’ve been taught that dieting and exercising for weight loss is guaranteed to bring back my eating disorder.
Tl;dr OP used to have an eating disorder and wants to know how to lose weight in a healthy way
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