Monday, November 5, 2018

Some hard truths a lot of you need to hear to be successful at this

The struggle is real. If you want commiseration, don't read any further. If you want the real deal, keep reading:

- Don't expect people to accommodate you. You can blame your family members cooking, or keeping goodies in the house, or friends inviting you to drink. But that won't make you lose any weight. The McDonald's will still be on your way to work, the donuts will still be brought to the office, the vending machine will still sell candy. You will have to learn how to eat differently than those around you, even those in your own home. It's good practice for the real world and life after your "diet."

- Don't expect people to applaud you. The people who make fun of your fat the most, will probably be the ones ignoring or resenting your progress. You think you finally got the thing done, they'd be proud. They might not be. Prepare yourself. People get weird when those around them level up.

- It's harder than you think it is and takes longer than you think it will. I've lost 54 pounds and it took a long time. Prepare yourself for the long haul. Speaking of the long haul:

- Because it's harder than you think it will be, don't make it even harder. If your diet/lifestyle change of choice is too hard to maintain, you need to find an easier way. I'm not weighing bananas so I can obsess over the 40 calorie difference. I'm still eating out, and enjoy my food. Which, for me, means that my success story took some time. But because it took a while, it's an actual lifestyle, which I do without much effort because it's the "new normal" for me. So make whatever you are doing something you can do. If you "keep getting kicked out of keto," then keto isn't for you. If you're feeling faint doing vegan, vegan is not for you. Do something you can do. That's going to be different for everyone. You have to find something that works for you.

- It gets easier over time. Like WAAAAAAAY easier. The first few months are the hardest and least rewarding. As you keep going, you see progress and your "choices" are becoming "habits." Choices require effort and motivation and discipline. Habits are mostly automatic.

- People who have succeeded will tell you they are not motivated they are disciplined. They are not. They are habituated. That's why they make it look easy. Because at some point, it is.

- The hardest part is the emotions, not the diet. It's dealing with people, their comments, their silence, their comparisons, their suggestions. The easiest strategy is to keep it to yourself as best you can. That way, they don't discourage you by telling you why your strategy of choice sucks. Because people can get really passionate about their eating styles and what they think YOU should be doing instead of whatever it is you're doing.

- Obsessing over calories will help you lose weight quicker than someone who doesn't count calories, or who are less accurate about counting. But that can also pull the joy out of the journey. If counting calories is easy for you, do it. If it's makes it harder to eat well, just eat well. If 1200 calories a day is easy for you and you don't mind losing weight that fast, go for it. If you want to lose the weight slower, or if you feel really hungry and miserable at 1200, then up your calories or food volume. I didn't count calories, because I just wasn't into it. It made it harder for me. I was calorie "aware" which means I know that sub has more calories than McDonald's burgers, even though it looks healthier. And one McDonald's meal is about 1200 calories, so you'd do well to limit fast food.

- You can choose to socialize around food or not. Some people turn down invites to keep to their calorie allotment. I just eat the better options on the menu. The grilled shrimp or steak tacos instead of the chicken stroganoff. The vodka and soda instead of the long island iced tea. The choice is yours and you can do different things at different stages of your weight loss.

- Enjoy exercise. A lot of CICO fanatics will encourage you to focus on diet for weight loss, and it is a big deal. However, so many people lose weight and complain they wish they tightened up during their weight loss process, not after. So I encourage you to exercise. And enjoy it. When that scale isn't moving, but the weight your able to lift is going up, you will be feeling successful and be able to stay in the game.

- Stay in the game. If it's too hard, make it easier. If it's too fast, slow down. But don't quit. If you have a bad meal, don't stress. Just get right back into it the next meal. If you spent the last few days binging Halloween candy, spend the next meal eating something healthy.

- This advice is counter to what some of you hear. I give it because I struggled with CICO, and all the diet advice I got. I once had a borderline eating disorder. It was only after I decided to change my habits one habit at a time, and didn't quit when the weight loss was slow or non-existent, that the weight came off, and my body changed. And I didn't quit because God gave me the strength not to quit. To keep going, despite what looked like it wasn't working. Eventually, those little changes added up to huge improvements.

- Prayer is a great resource to persevere.

- You may start your weight loss journey like a newborn colt, stumbling, and struggling to get a few steps forward. But eventually, if you keep trying, you can gallop with sinewy muscles.

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