Tuesday, December 11, 2018

34 weeks in and I’m starting to burn out

This will be a weird rant, I just want to let this out. started my journey 34 weeks ago, and it was 34 weeks of pure agony self discovery, mental breakdowns, self deprecation, but tons of love and just total control, and it is getting in my head. I'm down 36.1 kgs 79.4 lbs though but it's like this last few kilos are killing me. I still need to lose 10 kgs 22lbs to have a normal bmi, so like I want to fast track everything and just get to the finish line so that I can finish strong. wooooh. I'm giving it my absolute best and I'm trusting the universe the lord the spirit guides whomever there is to just finish the fight for me. I feel like I needed divine intervention to finish this, coz I'm starting to get antsy and I know what I’m doing is working and I’m proud of myself, however it’s really making me burn out, I guess I just need to do my thing and let go. I guess I’m getting tired. also in my Head if I can't want this so much then I don't deserve to get to that level that I want to be, so much fire in my mind and anxieties are coursing through my whole fucking body. I just want to be done with it. this are the things that I didn’t know would be a part of the weight loss journey. but I’m learning.

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