F/34/5'8" SW: 268 CW:228 GW:170
Hello redditors. I've been lurking on this page for months and decided to chime in with an issue I thought might be helpful to process here.
I've always been fat. For as long as I can remember, really. Growing up, my weight was always a big concern for my parents, and a lot of attention was brought to my body throughout childhood, adolescents, and early adulthood. (I've always eaten very healthfully, just too much). I met my husband when I was 21, we loved each other, we accepted our larger bodies, we were very happy in general. I still struggled with my weight, however, and was always trying to lose weight. I found though, that when I started losing weight, I would struggle with the attention I was getting, and would eventually revert.
So, 12 years, a lot of love, and two babies later, despite a healthy diet and being seemingly healthy, my 34 year old husband died of a massive heart attack. For the first year, I was basically focused on surviving and taking care of our babies (they were 10 months and 3 years old when he died). I worked out a lot to manage the grief, but ate a lot as well, and my weight grew on top of the baby weight I never lost.
In August of this year I decided that I was done being fat. For me, for my kids, for my health. I fully committed to eating less, eating cleaner, and taking care of my body the way. I'm now down 40 pounds, feeling really great...and starting to get attention for it.
Now, I actually don't mind the attention from men. I'm dating again and happy to be able to look forward to sharing my new body with others. I struggle with the compliments though. My parents, my grandmother, my co-workers, my friends, people are starting to make comments about my weight loss. Everyone is supportive and happy for me, but I'm beginning to feel self-conscious about the attention being paid to my body. It's the very reason I've struggled with weight loss in the past, and I don't want it to effect me this time.
I'm READY for a new body. I've been thrown into a new life entirely, and I want a new body that matches the strength, focus, and bravery I have discovered in myself. I'm proud of EVERYTHING I'm doing with my life, and I know I can reach my goals.
I just want people too leave me in peace and not make a big deal out of my transformation.
It's a silly problem to have, but its an issue non-the-less. Thanks for the space to emote.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/2Cesu3C
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