Friday, December 14, 2018

I put on a size 16-18 (thats closer to 16) shirt and it actually fit me today but my dad doesn't care. I've lost 15 kilos (minimum) and want to share my progress.

Weight loss is hard without a support system. My dad is super skinny and has trouble gaining weight. All my life he has been at me to loose weight and when I came back to live with him and weighed roughly 120 kilos I got a lot of negative comments. They came from a good place but he doesn't understand how mental health ties in with weight. Today I put on a shirt that when I bought it in May wouldn't button up and my arms wouldn't fit into the sleeves at the shoulders. Today it fits perfectly. I got super excited and went into the lounge room to tell him. He looked at me, laughed and said cool. The tone hurt. All my excitement faded and I felt like I was still hideous. Don't get me wrong I have a looong way to go but the lack of support made me feel like shit honestly. So since I don't have anyone to tell (because I'm sooooo fricking excited, heres an overview of my journey SO FAR. Thanks in advance for reading. I've only technically started my weight loss journey. At high school I dealt with a lot of pressures from school and home. Expected to have excellent grades while dealing with issues at home. I went from a size 14 to a size 20. I'm upset because I have no idea where I started. The last time I weighed myself I was 117 kilos but I'm pretty sure I gained more because that was a while ago. Anyway I changed my life. I moved straight after I graduated, I cut the toxic people from my life and I retreated into myself to heal. It has been a rough year. Finally after 7 months I started to pick up. I got a job at a Milk Bar, I started cutting foods that aren't healthy though I do give myself a bit of wiggle room. My portion sizes have become normal and I no longer eat until I'm so full it hurts to get that feeling. The thing that has helped me most though is I have thrown myself into my art. Everyday I take at least an hr and I go out. I either find somewhere to draw or I wonder around town to take photos and get inspiration. I have not only started feeling better about myself, I have found my passion again. I weighed myself this morning and I weighed in at 102 kilos. I can't say how much I've lost but this is the first time in years that the scales are going down instead of up. I am still very overweight and have a long way to go. I want to get down to 80 as a first goal. My main problem with starting in the past was I didn't think I could do it because it was so far away. If I weighed 120 when I started (estimated) I'm 2 kilos off halfway. Plus I'm able to say some of my clothes are a size 16! This makes me soooo happy. This sub has also been a help. I read all the stories and makes me feel like my goals aren't that far away. I wish you all well in your journeys and hopefully next time you see me I'll be closer to my goal. Thanks 😊

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