I've had a really tough autumn, you guys. It's honestly been one thing after another.
Super expensive car repair further muddled by the gross incompetence of the mechanic I chose to fix it at actually properly identifying the parts my car needed? That was my August and it bled into September and the start of the fall.
Having to deal with the slow deterioration of my relationship with a woman I thought I had a future with? The one who had literally typed a five page letter FULL of all the flaws she saw in me and then gave up on trying to fix things between us even while I made efforts to fix all of them? The one who broke up with me on Halloween while I sat there awkwardly in a Grim Reaper costume? The one who has since pretended I don't exist despite a promise to remain friends? That was my October.
The stress of trying to put together a community theatre show in four weeks while also charging through one of the busiest months of my day job, and basically having little to no free time for myself to decompress and enjoy any of my solo hobbies? That was my November.
I hoped things would get better this month, but this December has started on one of the most negative notes I can think of — I was laid off at work. It had nothing to do with my job performance and everything to do with budget cuts, but I don't see how that's supposed to make me feel better about becoming unemployed with literally no warning that job loss was on the table. I had to deal with the embarrassment of breaking down in tears in my boss' office when he delivered the news that Dec. 3 would be my last day, and then had to listen in a complete haze to our HR head as she explained my compensation package. I had to be ESCORTED back to my office and HR had to WATCH me as I ruefully packed up all my personal belongings. Before I knew it, I had turned in my keys and was back at home.
I'm more scared for my future than I've ever been in my life. I have about two months of cash from my compensation package and my savings before I officially enter crisis mode, and even though I'm extremely lucky that my parents have offered to help support me if I can't find a job in my field at that time, the thought of continuing to depend on my half-retired parents for financial help when I've been financially independent since graduating from college fills me with immense guilt.
But through all of this stress and all of the sighs I've made this blasted season...I've made a commitment to improve my health. I've started on the path to a healthier me. I've put my focus into improving on that chubby overeater I've been seeing in the mirror, and on sculpting him into a man defined not by his weight, but by his character.
I started losing weight on October 14. Every day since then, I've fastidiously logged my weight in a Google Doc, followed my Slow Carb Diet as close as I can, and have zealously caught myself from the jaws of high-calorie temptations day by day. Almost two months later, I've lost 23 pounds and am already halfway to my goal weight, FAR ahead of where I predicted I may be and easily crushing my conservative loss goals week to week.
Even if my life is facing negative after negative, at least I can take solace in the positives my weight loss journey is bringing me. And I continue to have faith that I'll emerge from these freezing months a happier, healthier person.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/2zFnVO4
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