Can't give up!

Here to give an update.

Highest Weight : 265 lbs. (2 years ago)

Current Weight : 231.5 lbs.

Goal Weight : 160 - 170 lbs.

I started this journey a couple weeks ago on December 26th, and posted about my progress for the first week or so 11 days ago.

• I had reached 228.4 lbs at the beginning of this week (January 7/8) (*now back up to 231.5)
• BUT my boyfriends' birthday was the 10th...long story short I've cheated my way out of ketosis by allowing myself to eat goodies at every meal for the past 3 days. Quite a few times of eating out as well as a 'celebration' meal for an interview I had yesterday for a really great job opportunity.
• Regardless of all the posts and pick-me-ups about cheating and how it's not a deal breaker, I FEEL LIKE A GUILTY PIECE OF SHIT. I know it's not a huge deal and I'm planning to jump right back in by fasting today, but I felt like I was doing great, getting so strong. I did decided to consistently measure ketones over the last couple days while my nutrition was off (kinda as a test of "fuck it, I'm going down anyway, let's see how far I could push adding carbs back in"), and they really weren't affected much by the first day I was eating more carb-heavy foods. Ketones really started dropping off by the end of the second day of cheating, and with testing this morning I'm almost complete depleted.
• They say you eventually develop a mind set of "ehh, cheating with those french fries/chocolate cake/potato chips really wasn't worth it. But lemme tell ya, those damn Olive Garden breadsticks were most definitely worth it. I've come to the realization through these last few days that ya gotta live your life and I shouldn't look at it as a mistake and how I ruined myself, but that I'm allowing myself to enjoy an occassional treat (however, I shouldn't have let it last 3 days...).
• I've found it really difficult to stay hydrated which is why I think I'm not seeing the weight loss I expected. I literally just don't even think about drinking water even when it's sitting beside me the entire day, 12 inches from my face until I'm dying of thirst. I don't know, it's like if I'm not craving it, it makes my throat feel weird and I kinda gag. I know, strange!
• Also been pretty bummed about the exercise part of losing weight. I continually pay a gym membership, yet never go. I have a dog who loves to go on walks, and I used to, except it's cold and dark when I get off of work and I never feel like going out when I get off of work.
• Additionally, where the fuck is the energy you're supposed to have? I mean, I know it's only been a few short weeks (and now I have to restart), but I never gained anymore energy and was just as tired as before I began keto. Does it take months or what? Because that's one of the main reasons I had interest in the keto lifestyle.

Here's to a keto, round two. May the odds be forever in my favor.

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