Fear of failure

Hello everyone! This is my first post here but I'm a long time lurker (I've been following this reddit for over a year I believe)

I am 28 years old, 5'6 tall and weigh around 190 pounds (I don't know the exact weight because I am really avoiding the scale these last few months). I have lost weight three times over the last 10 years but always put it back on. I feel so disappointed in myself and I am really scared to start another weight loss attempt due to my record of past failures.

To give you a short summary of what I tried so far(you can skip to the end of the post if not interested):

1st time I lost weight, I was 18 and I did it with a registered dietician. From 160 pounds I ended up at 130ish if I remember correctly. After that my freshman year in college began and being left alone to my own devices I gained it all back plus about 5 pounds more.

2nd time followed 1,5 years later (I was 20) after my dance teachers advised me to lose weight. I started a really strict diet of 1,200 kcal a day for seven months. By the end of it I weighed 125 pounds. I managed to keep the weight of for three years. After I stopped taking dance classes, I went back to my previous eating patterns and I ended up weighing 170 pounds.

3rd time I am 27 years old and I had just started a really strenuous job. I lost about 20 pounds just by walking around and up and down flights of stairs carrying heavy loads for the 8 hours of my shift. I didn't mean to lose weight, it just happened. Of course, after I quit that job, the weight came back with a vengeance.

Currently I am at my heaviest ever(190) and I have just started my first ever desk job as a Software Developer. I feel like I am succeeding in life. I have a nice job, a loving SO and a supportive family. It just seems I can't win with weight xD

The purpose of this post was to ask how did you get out of your rut. How did you manage to overcome your fear of failure? How did you manage to march on despite the odds? And how did you keep it off?

Thank you for reading this huge post and taking the time to answer kind strangers :)

tldr I failed at dieting multiple times, I want to lose the weight for good but I am scared to start over and I need advice

submitted by /u/Serdande
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