Sunday, March 15, 2020

Ladies: How do I start exercising/losing weight for ME without feeling pressured to be thinner for my husband?

30F 4’11 78kg

I have legitimate reasons to workout and eat healthier because of my ADHD, PCOS and to improve my overall health (plus losing a little weight would feel nice), but because I know my husband has been wanting me to catch up with him (he used to be obese and is now athletic) and desires women who are thin and fit, I can’t get this nagging pressure out of my head no matter how I spin it. It feels toxic and like it robs me of my own desires and goals. It’s at the forefront of my mind. It makes me feel more pressured to do it so that he would be happier with me.

I guess it doesn’t help that I have a history of trying to please/appease him to avoid criticism or conflict. Makes me a bit of an anxious perfectionist.

How did you separate your weight loss goals/journey from others expectations and perceptions of you?

How can I mentally feel healthy about it and make it about ME and not him or about others? And avoid screwing up my fragile body image?

Apologies for any word vomit, I haven’t slept all night.

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