I've been putting off this post for a while. I know that ultimately it has to be his decision. I don't want this to sound patronizing. I don't even know where to start.
My husband is probably ~40lbs overweight. He has Hashimoto's and takes medication for his thyroid. He exercises a lot, and it is difficult for him to lose weight. I think it's frustrating for him because he is always exercising (stationary bike, long walks w/some running, weights) but the difference in his weight is marginal. The thing is, his diet is pretty bad. He knows what I think, that it's better to not eat something than to have to work it off, but I think his perspective is that due to his thyroid issues he would have to restrict his calories so much to lose weight, that he still wants to enjoy things and eat some things and just exercise. He exercises more than anyone I know, and plays high intensity sports multiple times per week. And it just kills me to watch him drink pop to undo all of the calories he burns.
On and off for years, he has really committed to trying to lose weight. Except, his methods are much different than mine would be. It's frustrating to watch him try all of these different methods (that are not healthy or balanced to begin with) and give up on them after only two weeks (which, is fine with me for some of them). One time he committed to only drinking smoothies for all of his meals (but from Booster Juice... soo much sugar). Another time he wanted to have only healthy food that he did not enjoy, because if he enjoyed it then he would eat too much (eating tons of plain spinach, etc.). Obviously these can't last very long.
He knows what I think of each of these attempts. The last time he tried something, he warned me that it might look like he's doing something that is off a diet that he's established for himself and asked me not to say anything. I didn't. I can't remember what the rules were, but I didn't say anything even when it looked like he was doing contradictory things, or things that are not themselves healthy.
Now, what has prompted me to make this post is his latest plan. Some kind of intermittent fasting (which I'm not against in theory) with beer at night to suppress his appetite. He says it does suppress his appetite, and makes him sleepy so that he will go to bed and not be tempted to eat. Now, this is only the first night he's done this.
Today he had coffee, an egg and cheese wrap, a smoothie from Booster Juice, and had chips and guac with two beers. He's making an estimate of the calories he's consuming so kind of doing CICO, but his main reasoning is that he wants to do these "extreme" methods to lose a bunch of weight at the start, and *then* start a sustainable diet. But I also haven't seen him lose this initial weight from his plans in the past either. He just stops the plan and then continues his previous diet.
Tonight, I couldn't hide my annoyance at him eating chips an guac and drinking beer as part of his weight loss plan. He said I was being judgmental - I really wasn't trying to be, but maybe I was. I just don't understand, and I don't know how to help him - I've tried to be supportive of what he is doing even when it doesn't make sense to me.
I love him dearly, and hope that I haven't said anything offensive. I am trying to be understanding, I love him and am attracted to him and tell him that every single day. I think he feels critiqued that I don't understand because I haven't had to lose a bunch of weight... I don't want to be judgmental but it's hard when he is doing stuff that is so unhealthy and unsustainable. I've watched him do this for years. Does anyone have any advice on how to support him? Do I just keep being quiet? Please help.
TLDR: husband tries to do "extreme" diets to try to lose weight - most recent one is using beer to suppress his appetite. How can I support him? I am going crazy watching these attempts.
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