Sunday, March 22, 2020

Reposting for posterity

Re: I'm an RN taking care of COVID-19 patients. An experience I had with one of them has completely reshaped how my brain thinks about food and life.

This is a throwaway account to protect [this] identity, [individual's] patients, and [respective] employer.

I work as an RN in a rather densely populated suburban hospital in the Northeast US. A couple weeks ago, we started getting COVID-19 cases in my unit. All of these patients we considered "rule out", as in we literally didn't have the tests to swab them with so we were forced to assume they had the disease if they were showing symptoms. So far, the large majority of these patients were negative and sent home (Great News!). However, that doesn't mean we haven't had our share of positives. These patients can seem okay, but a smaller number of them can slowly deteriorate. I had experience with one of them. He was a rather healthy and active 40-ish year old male, slightly overweight, slightly hypertensive (high blood pressure). He was complaining of a little bit of sharp pain in his chest when breathing in. Otherwise, he was stable, we were just giving him a little oxygen. My next night with him, he was on a little more oxygen because his oxygen saturation started dropping, but otherwise stable. The next night, he couldn't breathe if he talked for more than a few sentences at a time (very bad sign), but again, still stable otherwise. In the back of my head I knew he going to deteriorate further and probably would need to be intubated and attached to a ventilator eventually. I gave him a breathing treatments with little effect, I increased his oxygen with little effect, but again, he was still stable. I informed the doctors of this so they were aware, but there was really nothing further we could do for him at that point as I had given him every appropriate medication and intervention. Close to the end of my shift his call light went off and I can hear him in the room absolutely gasping for air. Without even going in the room I called for a rapid response (the emergency team in the hospital). Mind you, it takes a solid 2 minutes just to get inside these rooms with all the PPE (e.g. gloves, gown, N95 mask, and face shield) we're required to wear. By the time I got in, his lips were blue, he's gasping for air, and absolutely begging to breathe normally. He was immediately intubated by the hospitalist and sent to the ICU. He's currently sedated, intubated, on a ventilator, and on a rotoprone bed (a bed that rotates you like a rotisserie chicken to move accumulated fluid in your lungs). I currently have no idea if he'll make it through this.

I understand this was only my first patient for this to happen to. There are going to be tens/hundreds more most likely. But, it's already completely changed me. I'm a big guy, I've always been overweight. I'm 6'2", 285lbs and have the same body type and a couple of the same co-morbidities as that patient. Hearing that COVID-19 affects people with hypertension and obesity harder than other people scares the absolute crap out of me after seeing it first hand. We're being forced to reuse PPE (only the N95 masks at this point), so I know I'm most likely going to be exposed to this disease at some point. I used to binge eat after work to calm the stress. Now, the thought of eating an entire frozen pizza or an entire bag of chips absolutely disgusts me to my core. I know that I'm at increased risk of heart attack, stroke, and other terrible diseases but COVID is a slowly progressing, agonizing disease. It has completely scared me straight. I understand it's sad that it's taken this crisis for me to care about myself but it's forced me to reevaluate what is important in life. I guess as an RN, I've always thought about others before myself, but this has made me realize I WANT TO LIVE. I want to be healthy. If I get sick, I don't want it to be because I didn't care for myself. I want it to be because it was my time, and knowing that I did everything I could do for myself.

I've been counting my calories. I've been eating way more salads, grilled chicken, rice, vegetables and I feel great. I've lost 7 lbs in the past week. With the quarantine situation, I've been taking more walks outside in the fresh air (which is great for my mental health). I know the weight loss will slow over time, but I'm in this for the long haul.

Also, younger people, YOU ARE NOT IMMUNE. Take this disease deadly serious, because it is deadly. Don't play the COVID ventilator lottery because you want to go drinking or have a night out. Your night out is not worth tying up a ventilator for 2-3 weeks to keep you alive instead of someone else.

TL;DR: Simply be happy you are able breathe because you never know when that will be taken from you.

edit: This is so cliche as a redditor since the great digg-pocalypse of 2010, but I never expected for this post to blow up so much. I need to be responsible with the platform I guess I have right now. I realize people are scared and hungry for any information at all about what is going on. I absolutely encourage you to read all the official government information on this virus. Read all the information of official sites like the FDA, NIH, and CDC. Pay attention to what your local governments are doing and recommending and PLEASE follow what they are telling you to do. Stay safe, I need to sleep.

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