This is really more an offmychest than anything else, but 2020 has been the year of most change for me and I only now realized my clothes don’t fit me anymore.
I (5’7 F) started the year weighing around 185-190. Don’t know the exact weight because I was terrified of weighing myself, but I can get an idea based on pics/clothes. Started the year off on a cruise ship vacation, wore only loose clothes (loose t-shirts, jeans, sweaters) and felt incredibly uncomfortable in swimwear. I possibly hit 190 after that vacation. I tried to get back in shape after coming back, and then Corona hit in March where I live. Quarantined with my family, we had “game nights” every other night with lots of food and lots of wine. I started intermittent fasting around this time, but would still only wear loose clothes. Binge eating and drinking did not help.
In May I got a job that would require me to wear suits after remote work was over, so I ordered a few suits online. Size 12. I’d never been a size 12 before in my life, I was always 6-8. At this point I kind of became numb to my size; I wasn’t shocked by it anymore. I just went with it because it is what it is.
In July my family and I rented a beach house. I felt so uncomfortable in bikinis. The summer clothes I’d had for years were tight on me. I felt exposed in my clothes. I hated every second of it.
In October I decided to get a breast lift/reduction, and my surgeon asked how many pounds I had gained since 2017, when I got breast implants from him. I said around 20, for the first time, out loud. Maybe 20 pounds is not a lot for many people, but for me it was the most weight I’d ever gained. At this point, I’d had to throw out seven brand new winter sweaters that I got last year because they didn’t fit anymore. 20 pounds was the difference between my clothes fitting me and not fitting me. 20 pounds over the weight I was in 2017, which was already 20 pounds over my ideal weight. I felt defeated. The surgeon suggested I try to lose the weight before the surgery scheduled for December 19 so I could see best results. And then I took my weight loss journey more seriously than ever.
This morning (December) I weighed myself at 169.6, almost 20 pounds down from my weigh-in in the Summer at 184. This morning I tried all the clothes I ordered during the year on. My suits? They ALL fit large now, when they used to barely fit. A leather skirt I bought looks a full size too big on me now. Trying on my clothes this morning made me cry, because for the longest time I’d given up on myself and on actually getting back to my ideal weight. For the longest time I lost faith, I felt like I was fighting against the whole world.
My clothes made me cry today. This is a part of the journey I never thought I’d reach, and I’m so happy!
Now I need to get everything taken in. My tailor is going to love this.
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