Hello everyone, this is my first post. I just want to share my story, to need the extra courage and maybe somebody who's in a similar situation can feel less alone :)
I(28F) have been obese for the last 5 years. I had my first major depressive episode at 22, mix that with an eating disorder and in less than a couple of years of too much and poorly I gained 35 kg (77 lbs). It seems impossible now, and even at the time I barely even noticed until I was so big I wouldn't fit my clothes anymore, and I'd be out of breath after going up the stairs.
I wasn't fit before this happened, I was slightly overweight, but nothing medically significant. When I realized what I had done to myself, I tried to go back to my usual weight, but it's been failures after failures ever since. I barely managed to lose 10 kg (22 lbs) in 4 years.
I still need to lose AT LEAST 20 kg (44 lbs). I have the support of a therapist and a psychiatrist now, and the drugs I'm taking seem to finally be working. It has at least been easier lately to manage the ED.
So I feel stable enough to officially committing to trying and finally get back in shape, at least to the point where my weight won't pose any risks for my health.
For some details, I'm staying at around 1500 calories per day, doing light exercise whenever I feel able to (so far it's 3 hours of brisk walking per week, it's not much, but it helps). I make sure to weigh my food, and also eat relatively healthy within that calories range: lean meat, lots of vegetables, small quantity of olive oil as condiment, some fruit, some carbs from various sources (potatoes, cereals, whole grain bread etc.).
This time I'll stay away from keto and very low carb diets though - I noticed that when I'm on those I'm at the highest risk of relapsing into my eating disorder. I'll just count calories and avoid junk food as much as possible.
I'm very scared to fail again, but I've been meal-prepping lately and that has helped a lot.
I'm trying to change my perspective too. I know wouldn't be here if I hadn't had the support I had healthcare-wise. I'm grateful I get to have another chance and I don't want to waste it.
That's it. Wish me luck, and to everyone else struggling with weight loss, mental health issues or both: be brave, seek and accept help and please take care of yourself.
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