Changing my focus; enough of “all or nothing mentality”; maybe my CW is my goal… For now. Maybe my GW doesn’t have to happen in the time frame I stipulated for myself.

Instead of running myself to the ground and self-sabotage, maybe I should remember how far I’ve come since my SW. This isn’t my first time trying to lose weight but I want it to be the last. I want to end the cycle of restriction and binging and restricting again.

This time around I have learnt to listen to my body. And it’s telling me that it’s enough. For now, anyway. And that’s it okay!

My new goal it’s to maintain the weight loss that I achieved so far. If I don’t put on weight again that’s a win. Celebrating that. Not giving up. Simply taking my time. And being patient.

I have learnt not to be so hard on myself. But that doesn’t mean throwing caution to the wind. It just means that I shouldn’t fight myself if my body is telling me to take a break. It means I will still take care of my body and will eat at maintenance and still move my body. Because it's healthy, because it makes me happy and because I want to keep fit.

I strained my shoulder muscle last week and I felt defeated. I knew I needed to take a break to be able to heal. In result, I wouldn’t be able to progress as I wanted to and couldn’t keep my well established routine ongoing. And unconsciously I wanted to throw in the towel. The first day that I was supposed to have my strength training session after my injury, I bought a pack of chips and finished all in one seating. I didn’t think much of it at the time. I even had convinced myself to have a plan B workout on that day (that didn’t include weights) but I ended up not doing it. But looking back I realize that my old mechanisms were at play. I was telling myself that I wasn’t going to succeed. That I was a failure.

It’s something that I’ve been working on. Learning to not believe in that voice and instead telling that little girl inside that:

“I’m proud of you, you have been working so hard and it’s okay if an obstacle shows up in your path. We will overcome it together. Just because your routine it’s not going to be the same, it doesn’t mean it will go downhill from here. Just remember that you are good enough and I love you. We got this.”

I wrote this to myself and I felt like sharing. Hoping that will help someone as well.

submitted by /u/daydreamer___
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