Tuesday, January 5, 2021

I might have bitten off more than I can (not) chew

27F 5'8" SW178 CW:170.4 GW:135

I have never been great at dieting or sticking to anything that doesn't have instant gratification. I love food. I have always loved food. I have a super hard time saying no to delicious food, and I have the strong scarfing urge linked with growing up with an older brother. All in all, I can never see the forest past the trees (made out of burgers). Thankfully, I have also always loved playing sports. Before covid, it all kinda balanced out.

Right before covid, I tore my left ACL, and two years before that I tore my right ACL. You could say I'm clumsy. I gained weight from that whole process and then covid happened and I have gained even more weight. Now, I am the heaviest I have been. Before the string of unfortunate events, I weighed 148 lbs

So about 3 weeks ago, in a fit of sadness and frustration with my inability to control myself and my weight, I signed up for the HealthyWage app. I bet enough to make my pockets uncomfortable, hoping that it would motivate myself to actually stick to it.

The problem is that, in my fit of determination and anxiety, I elected to challenge myself to finally meet my life long weight goal of 135lbs in 6 months with very little, if any, knowledge about weight loss. Now that I am almost a month in, I am seriously starting to doubt myself.

All that said, I have been doing the best dieting that I have ever done in my life, and I am making a lot of progress, but I am worried that I won't make my goal.

I guess I am looking for motivation and words of wisdom to help me get through the next 5.25 months. Really, I'll take any help I can get. I am pretty new here, but I have been pretty fixated on scrolling on this page for the past week or so, and I see a lot about taking it slow and only picking goals that you can maintain, but I feel like I don't have room for that.

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