F19, 5”9 SW: 210 CW: 188 LW: 172 GW: 145
I started my weight loss journey over 2 and a half years ago when I was a senior in high school. I’ve had plenty of triumphs and plenty of downfalls in that time. When I am in the zone, losing weight doesn’t seem that bad. Not because it’s easy but because my mindset is right and I feel like I can do it. However, I feel like without fail every time I get in this zone I get knocked back out. I lose good and then I dislocated my knee and put it back on. I lose good and then the pandemic hits and I put it back on. I lose good and then my grandpa dies and I put it back on.
The point of this post though is, I’m back in the zone. I feel good about what I’m eating and logging calories, I’m pushing myself to do challenging workouts everyday instead of just what I’m comfortable with, and I started a health journal to log my journey. I have all the tools I should need to be successful. I know I have a disordered relationship with food, I know why, and I know what I should do to improve it.
However, even with all of this I’m still scared. I’m scared this will be just another before the subsequent down. I’m going back to school next week and while I’m excited to see my friends, they love to drink and they love to eat out, and I’m terrified of being faced with that temptation again. My mentality feels good now but it’s felt good every other time I’ve lost weight too and I can just never take it all the way.
It’s like I have competing sides in my head, one side is positive that this will be the time and wants to start picking out clothes and the other side keeps whispering that this high has an expiration date.
I don’t want to waste anymore time being fat though. I’ve lurked on here for years, but I’m posting for the first time to try and have some accountability and to get some advice. What can I do to not just lose weight but keep losing it? What do you do when you hit a roadblock in your journey? How do you maintain motivation? I appreciate any help because I’m really doubting myself right now
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