(I hope it's okay this focuses more on the mental side of weight loss)
Back in the summer of 2017 was when I decided to finally lose weight. I was 5'4, 200 lbs, and while I didn't entirely subscribe to the notion that weight loss was impossible, I didn't think it was a practical option. I stored a loooot of fat in my chest, and reasoned that if I lost weight, I wouldn't be able to support my chest and I'd have worse back pain (pre-2018 me was a tad bit naive).
Everyone has that moment when they decide they are done being overweight. My moment was getting my heart broken. All my old insecurities came flooding back and I found myself thinking, "you don't think we have chemistry? I'll show you some goddamn chemistry."
While I'd love to say the straw that broke the camel's back was a health realization or because I loved myself, the truth is, it was because I was in a bad place concerning my body and wanted to feel better. And I think that's okay. I didn't starve myself or anything, but found myself thinking "you don't need that" every time I saw a sweet dessert or my old nemesis, Cheetos. While I knew anger would only fuel my efforts for so long, my reasoning shifted more toward bettering myself for me. A mantra that constantly went through my head was, "I need to make my own confidence. Not rely on someone else to provide it for me."
I didn't really go in with a developed plan for losing weight. I didn't go keto or use IF, WW or anything like that. I didn't even strictly track ny calories. But I knew what CICO was, and figured I could simply use common sense to eat less. And with the aid of this sub (and looking uo calorie amounts when able), it...worked. Surprisingly well, too. I had never been a binger, more of just a boredom snacker who figured my being obese was just my body type (confession: when I first joined this sub I was convinced I was only overweight, and when a fellow redditor tried to set me straight I snapped at them. Whoever you were, I'm sorry. You were right). So when I finally hit 45 lbs down and saw for the first time how I could wear smaller clothes and my family/coworkers wre all super proud of me, I felt amazing. I felt like a superstar.
Fast-forward about a year and a half to two years and I was down 80 lbs (5'4, 116 lbs). I'll add that I never had a specific goal weight in mind, I just wanted to keep going until it felt right. And for awhile there, since I worked a job where I was on my feet all day, I just sort of coasted to 116 and hovered there. Fall of 2019 though, a new challenge appeared: The Office Job. And while I love my job and am very lucky to have it, I regained 10 lbs before hovering pretty consistently around 125 lbs ever since. Even through COVID. And while I'd liiiiike to get back down to 115, I'm okay where I am now too. I've even started at a gym, and would rather lose a bit of fat and gain muscle than relose those few lbs from diet only.
And that's where I am now. And it has been a trip. I've experienced a lot since I first decided to lose weight, including some health problems that kind of hit me out of left field. While getting ny hormones checked due to hairloss and hirsutism, they found a pituitary tumor that is currently getting treated. And I've been struggling a ton with anxiety and started seeing a therapist. It kind of threw me for a loop, finding these issues after I lost weight, but these things happen, and I can only guess where I'd be today if I didn't take that initial step. Both my dad and grandpa have type 2 diabetes, and my dad also has high blood pressure, though he's been improving both with a better diet. My skin is now insanely soft and a rash + discoloration I had on my ankle finally healed and disappeared. I actually enjoy shopping for clothes when I used to absolutely hate it more than anything (my mom is thrilled with this new me, lol).
While things aren't perfect, I feel more accepting of my body than I ever did before, and I don't for one second regret going through the process. It was all time that was going to pass anyway, and that's something I want everyone currently on the first few steps of their journey to remember. It's all time that's going to pass anyway. I'd rather look back and remember how much I accomplished rather than look back and realize how much time I wasted. You can do this. Stick with it, day in and day out, and what was once difficult will become your new normal. Just give it time ❤
If you have any questions about what I did, you're welcome to ask.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/39OldXI
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