SW:320 CW:286 GW: 160
I am coming to a lot of realizations about my relationship with food and health in general, and wonder if anyone else grew up to think this way also?
I really thought that all skinny healthy people were just lucky and that none of it was related to behaviors of the person. And that still might be the case sometimes, but I thought that was the end all be all. I was not severely overweight as a kid but I was definitely taller and built more "sturdy" and I grew envious of the petite cute kids compared to me. And grew up having this kinda attitude like all the pretty skinny girls were "preppy' and that they were just lucky and spoiled, That they did not have to try. And as I went into adulthood I carried that, just assuming all the thin people were that way through pure luck and that I was destined to be bigger than them.
I really thought I had no control over my weight. I feel embarrassed to admit this but I fell into the thinking of "my weight fluctuates up and down and I can't control it, so if I just wait, itll come off again " when in reality, my weight has continuously crept upwards.
Paired with all that I even have kinda grown with the idea that taking care of yourself through diet and exercise is what people do out of vanity. Like if i were to fully embrace a diet and exercise routine that I would be admitting I don't liek myself or that I am horrible and that I need to change. I assumed that skinny, fit people were inherently...well...jerks.
At my highest weight I got to was 320 , and people will still say to your face "you dont need to lose weight, you are fine just the way you are" like I fully love the acceptance BUT people tend to talk obese people out of it, for this idea that in order to love yourself, you shouldn't change anything.
So I guess I am just realizing how I have held myself back, and also how other peoples'desire to be loving and kind, in the past has discouraged me from trying.
I notice that it makes people uncomfortable when I talk about my dieting and weight loss journey. I am really excited about it for the first time ever, but you can tell that it makes other people uneasy, like they can see you need to lose weight but they would probably rather tell me "no you dont need to lose weight! Sit down and heres some food ! I love you!" Lol.
I am really excited to finally be on the path of weight loss. But I can't even picture what I will look like and I think deep down is till don't believe it is even possible for me to be a small person. But I want to try.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/2ZoHir5
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