First off. I know a lot of people on this sub believe that calorie counting is the only way to lose weight. But I ask that you read my post fully before responding with that.
I am F/28/5'3" and 151lbs. I am overweight according to BMI, and the heaviest I've ever been.
I feel and look my best when I weigh around 120lbs, so that's what I'd like to get back to. But the catch is that I need to do it without counting calories.
I've lost 35lbs and gained it back again twice before. Both times using the calorie counting method via My Fitness Pal. Both times, as soon as I stopped calorie counting, the weight piled straight back on.
I used to think to myself "when I try again, I'm going to have to commit to calorie counting every day for the rest of my life otherwise I'll just gain weight again". But the idea of this is so miserable and depressing that it's put me off trying to lose weight again for years.
Recently, the more I think about it, the more I realise that calorie counting just isn't right for me. While I'm sure it works well for others, for me, it's no better than a fad diet. I do it for a while and it "works" but it's unsustainable to do it forever, and as soon as I stop, I gain weight again. The main 2 reasons I need to do this without calorie counting are:
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I don't LEARN anything when I count calories. I just see food as numbers on a screen. It doesn't help me develop healthy habits, or teach me to understand when I'm hungry or full. I rely on the numbers on the screen as a guide as to whether I should eat more or not, rather than listening to my own body. I don't pay attention to the food I'm eating or what my portion sizes look like or how my meals make me feel. I'm just staring endlessly at graphs and charts and figures and letting an app control my life.
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When I start calorie counting, I become obsessed with it. It's literally all I think about all day long. Food (restriction) becomes the main focus of my life.
All I do is sit there planning my meals out all day long, worrying about calories and macros, and weighing every tiny piece of onion and carrot and apple and slice of bread. If I don't know the exact calories in something (e.g. because it's my husband's turn to make dinner and he hasn't weighed the ingredients) it sends me into a full-on panic and I don't want to eat at all.
Any spare moment during the day, I'm on the app looking at the calories in this or that or analysing my weight loss graph. If I accidentally eat over my calorie goal, or worry that I might have (e.g. husband's meal), I end up exercising obsessively to try and offset it. If I'm too busy to exercise one day and log it in the app, it sends me into another panic.
I have tried, tried, and tried to count calories in a more relaxed way. I've tried telling myself "just eat what you think is right and then log it at the END of the day, just to see if you're on track, that way you'll stop obsessively planning meals". But it doesn't work. It's like as soon as I open that app, a calorie obsessed monster overtakes my brain and I can't help myself.
I have come to realise that I probably have some form of disordered eating, or issue with food restriction and control, and calorie counting is a massive trigger for it. The reason that I gain weight whenever I'm not counting is because I can't allow myself to think too much about what I'm eating, otherwise I panic that I haven't figured out the calories. So I eat mindlessly. And then I gain weight.
In the past few years I have worked HARD on loving myself and accepting my body even though it's overweight. I've realised my obsessive food restriction and calorie counting in the past has come from a place of hating myself and hating the way I look, and that's so wrong.
I can now happily say that I love my body, and my motivation for weight loss this time is that I care about myself. And because I care, I want my body to be as healthy as it can be.
So I have started the process of trying to lose weight purely by making sensible and rational choices about what to eat. I've decided it's okay to look at calories on packets to compare foods (i.e. to decide which brand to buy) but I won't log back into that app or start staring at numbers again.
I have to learn to make healthy choices on my own, without a computer telling me what to do. I want to listen to my body and eat when I genuinely feel hungry, base my portion sizes on government guidelines, and stop eating when I no longer feel hungry (as opposed to when I feel stuffed and can't eat another bite). I want to learn to tell the difference between a craving and genuine hunger. I want to exercise regularly because it feels good to take care of my body, not because I have to burn X amount of calories.
I have been trying to make sensible choices for a week now. I have cut out alcohol, and high-calorie snacks that offer little to no nutritional value (biscuits, crisps, cakes, sweets, chocolate, pastries). If I want to snack I have a piece of fruit or some celery or carrot sticks. I've deliberately been eating smaller portions.
So far I have lost 1.4lbs. That might seem tiny but it is a huge achievement for me after being the same exact weight now for over a year. It's the first time I've ever successfully started a weight loss journey without calorie counting. I don't care how slowly I lose the weight - even if it's only 1/4 of a pound per week - just as long as it keeps going in the right direction.
I'm expecting to get a lot of comments telling me that I'm setting myself up for failure and that the ONLY way to lose weight is to weigh and track what you eat.
But I know that's not true. My mum lost around 40lbs without tracking a single calorie (and has maintained it now for at least 5 years). So I know it can be done.
I'd love to hear from other people who have had success in losing weight without calorie counting. Were you able to/are you on course for achieving your goal weight? Did you find that you were able to maintain a healthy weight once you reached your goal? What have you learned?
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