Nearly 40lbs down with 160 left to go; some reflections.

F/26/5’6”

I could go on for a small books length on how I got here. I’ll just say I’ve always been the fat friend, but I gained nearly 100lbs when I moved nearly 400 miles away from my home. It was a combination of loneliness and mental illness compounding. Something in me snapped in December of 2020 and I decided enough was enough, my blood pressure was high(resting was 180/110 sometimes) I had no stamina, my knees hurt, my hips hurt just from laying in bed.

I went to my doctor and she gave me a pill to try and medically help weight loss but it made me sick as a dog and also made me feel like I didn’t have two brain cells to rub together, so I said no.

I came across this book called Brain-Powered Weightloss by Eliza Kingsford and I can honestly say it’s changed my life and the way I’ve been treating myself. It outlines why the cycle of diets fail, negative self talk and how to kind of cognitive behavioral therapy yourself out of it. A lot of my problem was definitely mental, but I also Kirby my food (have since I was a kid. I’ve been told i eat like someone’s going to take my food away from me) so reading about eating mindfully and stopping when I’m content, not full has really changed how much I eat. Religiously tracking everything I eat in MFP has also helped.

Sometimes I exercise, sometimes I don’t. Since I’m just beginning I’m trying to do things slowly and not burn myself out like I’m prone to. I started out thinking “Wow, I don’t know how I’m going to lose 200lbs.” But now that I’m about 40lbs down and only have 160 left, that 160 looks like a way smaller mountain.

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