14f here, I was in your position in July. I was at a healthy weight at the 50th percentile, but I wanted to lose weight because I was dissastisfied with my body. I tried to make it about loving and taking care of myself, but deep down I knew I was driven by self hatred. I started counting calories and limiting myself to 1200 calories each day. It was hard at first, but slowly I found ways to eat less and less. Before I knew it, I was eating 900, then 800. Nobody noticed until I told my mom I needed some new pants because I "hadn't been eating due to stress". Shortly after this, I spiraled into full blown severe anorexia. I ended up in the hospital in October. Now I'm in quasi-recovery, I gained 9 pounds then stopped and I'm lying to my family because I'm terrified of gaining more weight.
I know if I had seen a post like this in July I would have completely ignored it, so I don't really know if I will help anyone, but please see a doctor if you are interested in losing weight before you change anything. If you are at a healthy weight already, you are probably absolutely fine the way you are. Not eating enough can really damage your brain and body, even if it's not a huge caloric deficit.
If you are going to do it anyway without consulting a doctor and/or your parents, PLEASE look out for some warning signs I should have paid attention to:
- Constant body checking
- Wanting to eat less and less every day and feeling successful if I ate less
- Being at war with myself if I ate more than I had planned
- Thinking that I had do wait until I was thin to do certain things or wear certain clothes
- Prioritizing weight loss over everything and obsessing about it
- Constant food thoughts
And if you experience ANY of these things or something else you're not sure about, please please tell someone IMMEDIATELY before there is a chance for it to get bad. You don't need to wait for it to get bad or to become an emergency to seek help, and you are far more likely to bounce back if you do talk to someone early.
Please don't try to lose weight if you are healthy already: https://www.bcm.edu/cnrc-apps/bodycomp/bmiz2.html
Instead, figure out what you think you will gain from losing weight.
Confidence? Try to make peace with your body, get a haircut, please do not try to lose weight.
Strength/fitness? Do more exercise, build muscle.
Health? Please consult a doctor to find out if weight loss is actually healthy for you.
Thanks for reading, I hope that this helps you. I know you might be really insecure or think losing weight will make you feel better about yourself, but please be really really careful.
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