TL;DR AT BOTTOM // This post is for all the folks that calorie counting has failed. I am only 12lbs down but this is the most healthy and consistently I've lost weight. It's been about 6 weeks so at a steady and healthy 2lb loss a week I'm actually losing weight faster than I had anticipated. I'm not a doctor nor have I reached my goal weight but I really want to share my experience so far with those of you that might be struggling to stick to like 1200-1500 restrictive calorie counting that is ALL over the internet, because dieting like that really messed me up for years and I'm just finally beating having struggled with an undiagnosed eating disorder for most of my adult life.
To begin I'll give you a little bit of info about me. I'm 26 years old, 5'9, and im currently 232lbs, down from 244 as my highest weight. I was mortified that I would hit 250. My weight gain had just gotten so out of hand. I was abusing alcohol, binge eating every day, struggling with severe depression and feeling completely lost. I have done counselling on and off with some amazing people since I was about 20 years old and although it helped me become a better person in many ways, it never helped me get over the Big Sad ™. At 20 I was working in a career as a body piercer that paid more than I ever imagined. By the time I was 22 I owned my own successful small business with my best friend and lived without roommates in a beautiful apartment. From the outside looking in I was quite successful and should have a lot of the pieces needed to put together a happy and healthy life. But tbh I was very suicidal, struggled with drug and alcohol abuse, and disordered eating. I have ranged from 120lbs-244lbs, losing and then gaining weight quite rapidly because when I was younger I would severely limit the amount of food I was having. I was also doing cocaine and MDMA almost every weekend and working as a gogo dancer as my full-time job so right after high school I dropped about 80lbs in less than 6 months. Once I got a more stable living situation I ended up developing a binge eating disorder as a kind of self soothing. I lived by myself and could binge without judgement all I wanted. Ordering food all 3 meals a day and binge drinking every night. Over a couple years I had gained more than 100lbs and I was getting to feel pretty hopeless. I had tried calorie counting many times and it felt horrible. I genuinely could not do it. I am not a lazy person, as much as my depression would like to tell me that I am. I am not. And people that aren't successful through calorie counting aren't lazy either. And I really really needed to be someone to say this because as someone who failed through calorie counting weight loss MANY times and is now seeing success in other methods I just wanted to be a voice in the crowd saying it's okay if CC doesn't work for you. Calorie counting and restrictive dieting has worked for people but it can also be a factor in developing an eating disorder if not done properly and if you restrict too much. Over the past almost 3 years I have been searching for a proper doctor and last year I finally found them. I was diagnosed with persistent depressive disorder (PDD) and then after being on medication for about a year and seeing some improvement we revisited my diagnosis and found out that I actually have a hormone disorder called Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD). I strongly believe that having this hormone disorder undiagnosed for my whole life has honestly caused so many of the problems that I have and has been a HUGE factor in my unhealthy relationship with food. I used to not be able to feel my own stomach... If you had BED I'm sure you know what I mean. Where you can eat almost endlessly and never really feel full, until all of a sudden your stomach hurts so bad you can't move but you still want to eat. It's like trying to fill a funnel with sand. You can never do it. I would think about food every second of every day and the only time my brain was quiet was when I was eating. No amount of calorie counting can fix that, counting calories just wasn't a sustainable way of living for me. It was pure torture and even if I managed to lose the weight (the best I ever got was 20lbs and it was 3 months of living hell) I would have just gained it all back as soon as I had any freedom with food again. Mental health and physical health are so intertwined and eating disorders are so much more common and less apparent than you think they are. Through a mixture of mental health work, proper diagnosis and medication, and changing the foods I'm eating rather than how much I am eating has been the golden ticket for me. I don't cook with meat or cheese anymore because they are binge triggers for me, but I will eat meat and cheese if they are prepared for me and I'm not the one in charge of portioning how much goes into the meal lol. I'm 6 weeks into my new medication and I'm already finding it so much easier to chose healthy options for myself, and I now stop thinking about food once I've eaten. I still have cravings and I still eat junk food once and a while but it is so much more manageable.
TL;DR // Weight-loss isn't easy, but it shouldn't feel like absolute mental anguish at all moments of the day, and if it does feel like that to you, there is probably a bigger problem that you should seek help for. Calorie counting can't fix weight gain from an eating disorder. Try speaking with both a counsellor and a psychiatrist. I am currently on Prozac and Vyvanse for my hormone disorder and I never dreamed that I could be both losing weight at a healthy rate and also have this many happy days in a row. Please be kind to yourselves and find what works for you! I've found weight loss forums to be extremely harsh if you're someone struggling with an undiagnosed ED, so I just really wanted to be one post saying that you aren't lazy and calorie counting is not the only way to lose weight! Some folks just have a couple extra hurdles on the track, so take your time!
[link] [comments]
from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/3tPa6Gs
No comments:
Post a Comment