Fell off this week, and that scares me more than anything.

My weight currently is 206, and when I started my weight loss journey on May 14, I was 226. I’ve been going hard at it the last 2 months because I really want to go down to 190. The goal is to reach this by the end of the summer. However, this week has been absolutely awful. When I woke up last Monday, I felt cripplingly unmotivated. I’m a very impulsive person (which is why I developed habits of over eating), so instead of hitting the gym on Monday, I went to chipotle for lunch and Baskin Robbins after. I can’t tell you how much I hated myself on Monday night. The rest of the week, up until Friday, was mediocre. Although I was hitting the gym rigorously, my diet this week went off the rails. Every single day I was eating from outside. Pizza Hut, Indian food, Subway, Chipotle again. Honestly, I think my diet was so bad because my mom was outta town this week and she usually makes the homemade meals. Her meals are relatively healthy, or at least incorporated well in my diet. Friday was just awful. I ate a burger and fries, 2 bowls of ice cream and chipotle AGAIN. And today (Saturday), I ate pancakes, various fatty/oily snacks, and heavy Indian food. And to top it off, at 1 am (Sunday morning) I ate a bag of popcorn with coke, a piece of cake, and a bowl of noodles.

I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA HOW I LOST CONTROL AND MY BURNING MOTIVATION THIS WEEK.

And my gym schedule for the week is Monday-Friday gym. I only went Tuesday-Thursday.

I absolutely hate myself right now because I’m scared of my own nature and behaviour. Will my impulsivity always get the best of me, especially when it comes to fitness? I’m scared of the idea that I can lose motivation for working out and self control when it comes to food in the future. And of course the fact that I pretty much wasted a week, when I absolutely cannot waste time because I have a goal deadline coming up. God the biggest thing is that: time gone, and it being wasted. I just don’t want my behaviour this week to become a norm.

submitted by /u/KNG-KUMAR_2112
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