I (20F) have been struggling with my weight for as long as I can remember. I’ve always been slightly overweight. Nothing major, but more than I wanted to be.
My highest weight was about 180lbs back when I was around 16. I had taken the initiative to start walking to school every day and did my best to eat healthier. I had ended up losing about 25lbs. In 1 year which brought me to about 155lbs. My goal was 130. Around this time I had just graduated from High School and was going to college. I did my best to maintain my weight loss in college but was only able to maintain my current weight
I had been floating back and forth between 150 and 155 until a little over a year ago when I was finally able to weigh in at under 150 (149.6) for the first time. Since then I’ve been trying my best to at the very least maintain my weight but I’ve been unsuccessful. I’ve gained 10 lbs in the past year bringing me up to 159.8 and I’m devastated. I feel like I’ve been on a nonstop diet since I was 15! I am always passing up on meals and trying to eat small portions and such. I know I’m not perfect and I mess up here and there but it just feels like it shouldn’t be this hard to not gain weight! I’m not even upset about the fact that I’m not losing weight but I’m actively gaining weight???? How???? Why????
I just feel gross and ashamed in myself. I’m exhausted I feel like Ive spent over half of my days for the past 5 years preoccupied thinking about how much I’m eating and how to cut down, etc. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life constantly worried about what I’m eating! But how do I do that without gaining tons of weight when my efforts to lose weight are failing to even maintain my previous weight loss? I just feel like giving up but I hate the way I look and how I feel in my skin. I am very short so a change in even 2 lbs either way makes me feel significantly different.
Just a rant I needed to get out there
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