Your mental health is as important as your physical health and do not ignore it. I ignored and learned some lessons the hard way.

[TW: Suicide and Self-Harm]

My stats: 21M Height: 168cm; SW: 92kg, CW: 82kg, GW: 70kg.

Background: I am an Indian international student studying Bachelor's degree in Canada. I have had severe body-image issues since I was 6 due to bullying. I was overweight since I was 8. My weight kept fluctuating in the last three years. Before the pandemic, I went down to 72kg and had lightly visible abs. After the pandemic, my life changed due to loneliness and depression, which made me gain around 20kg weight. I used to binge eat till about a three months ago. Once one of my closest friends,who is also my crush, started to date a guy, I got jealous and got extremely motivated to lose weight. From May to around two weeks ago, I used to eat 1100 calories a day, and sometimes not eat for two to three days. I think I got a little too jealous and wasn't able to sleep as well. She stopped seeing him, but that's another story.

Because of the extreme restriction, I lost 10kg is 6 weeks. I developed some health problems like fatigue, confusion, lack of sex drive, lack of motivation etc. I even developed anxiety due to my body-image issues, and have heart palpitations and a sick stomach. I lost my sanity and started to snap easily at people. My body-image issues are so bad that I attempted suicide multiple times during March-May period. My friend observed this and started to spend more time with me talking me out of my unhealthy mindset. She started to tell me to eat more and exercise more rather than doing what I was doing. My roommate, who is a model, recommended me to go for a lower deficit and workout harder.

Over the last two weeks, I am eating at a lower deficit and doing a decently intense workout. While it is just two weeks, I feel like regaining my sanity. I am making great progress at the gym and start to feel small changes in my body. I feel better, and the progress motivates me to work harder at the gym. These are things I started to realize from my journey and not want others to make the same mistake:

1. Get help/seek therapy: If you have bad body-image issues, I recommend getting professional help if you can. If you cannot, surround yourself around supportive and positive people. Talk about your issues with a trusted person and be vulnerable with them. But be very sure that they are non-judgemental and trustworthy because these issues are not for everyone to know. If possible, stay away from the tOuGh LoVe people. Although it is completely a personal choice. Whatever works for you.
2. Do not let anyone have a power over how you feel about yourself: My friend kept telling me to stop letting others, especially women, have so much power over how I feel about myself or my body. You will never be enough in the eyes of the society. And most of the times, no one actually does not even care about you. Everyone is busy in their own lives.
3. Do not do it for others: Due to my lack of romantic success so far in life (not even a date), I am extremely preoccupied with building a body for women. Here too, my friend said this will effect you badly because body is not the only thing which gets you dates. It is definitely easier, but there are other factors which make people like or be attracted to you. And there is no one size fits all with bodies. Do it for yourself because you want to be that way.
4. Weight loss is an entire lifestyle change: It is not something you do and then revert to your old habits. It is a systematic change in lifestyle where you incorporate a healthy diet and regular exercise regimen which becomes a part of your life. I personally prefer a whole food plant-based diet with a large variety of vegetables (easy with Indian food), and strength training with 30 minutes of cardio everyday. With my lifestyle, I can stick to it. Choose something you can stick with and follow long-term realistically.
5. Do not go overboard with the deficit: It is terrible. You will lose muscle and sanity as well. 500 calorie-deficit is a good place to start. Be patient. I know that we want it quickly. But is it not really ideal or healthy to do it that way.

I am not sure if you guys might agree with these advice. And I might sound very fat-logicy. But trust me, your mental health is as important as your physical health. It is easy to develop eating disorders and body dysmorphia when you are trying to lose weight. Remember that losing weight is not just about weight, it is about building a healthy lifestyle. Eating nutritious food, drinking enough water, moving enough in a day, sleeping enough, these are all a part of weight loss and a healthy lifestyle. And hating your body is like living in a personal hell. Please do not hate your body, it is damaging you. I faced the damage, and I don't want anyone else to face those. Especially teenagers, who are younger and more vulnerable.

I also want to mention another important thing that weight loss is a discipline. If you are not in a position to build that discipline and make changes in lifestyle, deal with the roadblockers first. Your mental health is very important, please do not ignore it.

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