I'm amazed that I've gotten this far, so I thought I'd celebrate a little with you all and share some thoughts.
I haven't updated my flair in a little bit, I'm now 61.9kg (136.5lb), having lost 9.1kg in the past 100 days. I know thats a little fast because I'm not eating back any exercise calories, but I've been pretty sedentary for the past 3 months as we have been in lockdown and I'm only recently back at work.
I've been eating roughly 1300-1350 calories during this time; mfp has my goal at about 1250 now but I deliberately eat a little more just because I'm 5'7 and don't want to get too close to 1200. And especially because in the past week I've gone back to work and I'm doing 10-20k+ steps each shift so I don't mind going over my calorie goal by a bit on days I'm working.
I had a week after maybe 2 months where I was getting tired of being in a deficit so I allowed myself to take a break and eat at maintenance, unfortunately this slipped real fast into just a week of binging as I have trouble with that, but I kept tracking as accurately as I could. I managed to start back again in my deficit and that felt pretty good to get back to, and I did the maths and would've gained about 1 pound over that week. So that helped minimise my anxiety about how much I'd eaten, and reassured me that some of the weight gain the scale showed was water.
It's mind boggling to see the numbers on the scale, they don't really mean anything to my brain anymore because they're so... Foreign? Each time I think about my weight I have to concentrate to remember the number because its so different to what I usually weighed before. I don't know the last time I was this weight - probably when I was about 13.
The body dysmorphia is also real, as so many of you all will know. Some days I think I look super different and great, and some days I feel horrible and just like before. I caught a glimpse of my upper arms in a mirror today and it was so strange because I thought "those look like the arms of a slim person" and that isn't me in my brain. And on the other had when I put my work uniform back on after these 3 months of lockdown and weight loss, I got quite discouraged because I felt like I looked the exact same. They're absolutely right that it takes a while before your brain catches up to how your body looks.
One thing that's quite interesting is that because I get a fair amount of weight loss/exercise content on Instagram, I sometimes come across photos of people with similar heights or weights to me and its so interesting to compare them with me - not in a bad or degrading way, just honestly curious to see from the outside what people who are the same as me on paper. I don't really take anything from it but it's an intriguing experience.
Some other things I've noticed; a few of my vertebrae are visible when I slouch, and I actually got a bruise on one of them from sitting badly in an uncomfy chair, that was weird. My collar bones are more visible than they've ever been. It's easier to stand up straight. I don't hate the way my hands look now - I've always had chubby fingers. I have to position my legs carefully when sleeping on my side because my knees and ankles are uncomfortable.
Anyway thanks for reading, it's been a bit of a ramble about thoughts I've had over this time, and this is definitely the most successful and educational bout of 'dieting' I've had over the past 4 or so years, during which I've on-and-off lost a total of 34kg. I'm grateful for this sub, I've learned a lot and gained a lot of motivation, so good luck to everyone else on here.
[link] [comments]
from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/3EnY6kN
No comments:
Post a Comment