Frustrated, unsure how much to be eating. Please help.

M27, 6'4", CW: 260lbs, GW: 170-180lbs

I'd like some help.

I know how to CICO until the cows come home. In 2018 I went from 280lbs to 195lbs in like 6 months with running and a lot of lean cuisines (lived with my mom).

I gained some weight over 2020, things are better and I'm in a better place. But thinking about the 60lbs I've put on freaks me out, which makes me want to eat a little and run a lot.

I learned after losing weight, that the shape I'm looking for involves having really developed muscles. I just thought everyone was muscular under their fat - I didn't know how it worked.

I love to run - it's my mental health time (I get on the treadmill, put on a movie and zone out. It's lovely).

I have a weigh lifting routine that a personal trainer helped me put together, I know techniques. When I'm consistent I gain strength pretty fast. I joined a pretty nice 24/7 gym near my apartment, which makes lifting more accessible than trying to use my work's rec center.

I want to have a routine of weight lifting in the early morning, and 45-60 minutes of running in the evening. Push ups, squats, and stretches to be done at home.

How many calories should I be eating to do this?

I want to be steadily losing fat so I can wear my old clothes and feel attractive again, but I know if I run for 2 hours like I used to, a lot of the calories I'd have eaten won't go toward building my muscles. I want to get a nice shapely body and try to firm up the loose areas. My lower body is very muscular (to my surprise), probably from running, but my upper body has no muscle and sags.

When I look up my TDEE for my current weight, it tells me my BMR is ~2300 calories a day. At 180lbs, my BMR is ~1900.

I had been eating 1200-1500 calories per day and running, which lead to consist weight loss and I love that. But I know I need to eat more and somewhat track my protein intake to make the gains and losses I'm trying to see.

How much should I be eating with running 7 night a week, weight lifting for 45-60mins 5 mornings a week?

I would love to be confident enough to take my shirt off and go swimming by my 28th birthday in July. I don't need to look like a model, but I want my man boobs gone again and to just feel like a human being. (When I lose weight they go away - just how I carry fat, not gyno but I have some big ones).

I would appreciate some guidance with this. :)

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