So, I'm back on this boat ride again. F, 167cm, 120kg, sick and tired of being sick and tired. My feet hurt, my back hurts, my knees hurt, my belly hurts, and I can't sleep comfortably. It is, undeniably, time to try counting calories again.
The problem is, I have pretty severe ADHD. I struggle with:
-executive dysfunction. Making a meal is hard. Food prep is literally impossible. Even making a shopping list and getting everything on it is difficult.
-food is a stim. It calms me and centres me.
-but food also comes with sensory issues. I can't eat anything with the wrong texture.
-object permanence. I put my healthy snacks in a drawer? They're gone and never existed. Did I just eat a whole slab of chocolate? Who knows, time is fake.
To top it all off, I don't drive and I live remotely so buying in bulk is hard, and it's hot as balls here so cooking is not fun at all. Oh, and I'm vegetarian. I've decided I'm willing to eat chicken (and maybe fish if I can stand the texture) while I prioritise myself and get my habits to a sustainable place, if that's even possible. I can't eat much dairy, and since I had my gallbladder removed I'm prone to acid reflux from spicy or oily foods.
So I guess I'm playing on hard mode, but you all are an inspiration and I'm here to give it a bloody good go.
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