I want to lose weight. I know that it's not recommended for teenagers especially those at a normal BMI to go on weight loss diet but at this point, I don't think I can be happy in my current body. I've had body dysmorphia and a toxic relationship with my body image since the start of puberty (10 years old) and I guess I'm just tired of jumping around the issue. I know I'm at a healthy weight but I want to go down to around 125/120 lbs, a weight I haven't been since I was 11 years old, I've been over 130 lbs since I was 12. I've grown maybe 5 cm since I was 13, and although I want to get taller, I feel like it's going to be impossible at 16, at least not with the sleep I'm getting and the constant stress I'm under. I would love to be though? So if anyone has any advice on whether or not I can still get taller, I would love to know before I go on any diet that might affect my ability to get taller.
In August, I wanted to start losing weight so started aiming for a calorie intake of 1450 calories, but couldn't keep it without being exhausted and irritable everyday so I changed it to 1600.
For reference, here was my activity level since Sept 2021:
- Walk 40 min (to & back to school) everyday
- Workout 1 hr to 1.5 hrs 6 days a week (think light Youtube HITT workouts, Chloe Ting, Blogilates, Pamela Rief)
I normally eat around 1600-1700 calories, I don't excessively snack and I eat full meals. I eat normal homemade East Asian meals (stirfry, udon, ramen, noodles, rice) with the occasional stews, curry, and pasta. If I'm eating any dessets, I make sure it's not excessive, and won't usually eat more than 1 slice of cake or 1 cookie. I don't think it's physically possible for me to exceed 1900/2000 calories a day. According to my TDEE (around 2.1k i think???), I was supposed to eat at around 1600 calories to lose a lb a week which I have been attempting but no luck in weight loss. If I've lost any weight, it's probably only like 2lbs... I consistently sleep between 6-7 hrs but I am constantly under a lot of stress (from toxic family, friends, sudden changes in my life) so I would bet that my cortisol levels are pretty high.
HOWEVER, I recently made my schools volleyball team (like two weeks ago though I played on my school team and a house league a few years ago) and we have practices 4x a week, with 3 practices being 2 hours long. This adds on to that above regime though I am no longer working out on days when I have practices.
I'm tired of wearing my volleyball gear and feeling "fat" or "bulky" in front of my teammates and I also want to increase my vertical to up my chances of becoming a starter so losing maybe like 10-15 lbs would be a blessing (as this is supposed to be my ideal weight at my height). With that being said, how should I go about with readjusting my calorie intake now that my activity level has substantially increased? How much calories should I be intaking? Is it possible to lose 10 lbs in a month or two? It seems like no matter what I do, unless I undertake something major such as cutting my calories down to maybe 1200, I'm not going to get anywhere. I want to feel slimmer next to my classmates who all weigh around 110-120, in photos, and I just absolutely hate the way I look. I know I have a normal BMI, a normal bf % but I've tried working out, I've tried gratitude journaling and trying to love my body, I've tried eating less, I've tried eating more under the assumption that I'll have a growth spurt and magically get slimmer - THAT never happened. The thing is, at 120 lbs or 125 lbs, I will also be at a healthier weight and bf %. My weight & height has barely changed since I was in elementary school and neither will my confidence until it does. Making the volleyball team and having so many long practices a week feels like the sudden change I need so I want to take the chance and once and for all get what I want, but I don't know if I should yknow. Should I stay in my current unhappy position with my familiar not getting anywhere diet, or finally take the risk and get to where I want to be?
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